Stay
by Taletha
Summary: Sara's back after walking out on Grissom eight years ago. This time, will she stay?
1. Chapter One

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A/N: I wrote this while I was stuck in a training all last week. Obviously, I wasn't paying attention. Oh yeah, I don't own CSI or anything related to them.

Stay

Sara Sidle slipped into the Harvard University auditorium quietly. The Physics major had seen a flyer for this seminar on Forensic Science posted near her dorm room. Though she had no interest in working with criminals, anything related to science tended to peak her interest.

"My name is Dr. Gil Grissom - Entomologist, Level III Crime Scene Investigator for the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department _and_ your lecturer for the next several weeks." He said scanning the audience. "I'd like to keep things informal. Feel free to interrupt with questions and/or comments. Also, just let me know when you need a break. At the end of each daily session, I am free to speak with anyone who is still awake." That solicited a chuckle from the group. "Okay, let's begin."

Forty-five minutes into the lecture, Sara was completely enthralled. Forensic Science had sufficiently peaked her interest. She had never met anyone so knowledgeable and passionate about his work. It didn't hurt that he was absolutely gorgeous.

"Let's take a fifteen minute break." Grissom suggested after scanning the audience again to judge for alertness. It didn't bother him that most of the medical students were required to attend and therefore found his sessions to be boring. What kept him going were the few that showed genuine interest. If he could walk away at the seminar's end with one convert, then it was time well spent.

For example, the pretty brunette that sat in the rear of the class. Sidle, she had said. Her name was Sara Sidle. He knew she was really listening. Not only did she nod, smile and laugh in all of the right places, but her questions were intelligent and well thought out.

During the break, Sara made her way to the front of the room where the professor was reviewing his notes. "Excuse me, Dr. Grissom?" Sara spoke nervously.

Gil looked up from his notes, removed his glasses and smiled. "Ms. Sidle?"

"Yes, that's me." She answered breathlessly, pleased that he remembered her name.

"How can I help?"

"Uh. Your lecture so far has been very interesting, but I was wondering if you were going to have a slide presentation? I mean, I'm not trying to rush you or change your curriculum or anything…" she finished weakly, staring at her hands.

"Ms. Sidle-"

"Sara, please."

"Sara, I thought you were enjoying the lecture." He couldn't hide his disappointment.

"Yes, I am! You're great! I-uh, I mean the _lecture_ is great."

"But…?" He prompted.

"But when you started talking about how the bugs can reveal and establish the time of death and blood splatter - I mean, I want to see the pictures, the case files. What type of experiments have you performed to back this up-?"

"Whoa! Sara, slow down. So, what you are saying is that I'm moving too slow?"

Sara smiled sheepishly.

That's when he knew. He had one.

Later that night in his furnished apartment, compliments of Harvard University, Grissom replayed the day's events. The lecture had been a wild success. Mainly, due to one Sara Sidle. After their brief talk during the break, he picked up the pace by altering his itinerary - something he rarely did. But the excitement he saw in Sara's eyes was catchy. By the end of the class, he had a record seventy-five percent class participation.

"Sara." He said her name out loud into his empty room. He liked the way her name sound on his tongue. It had been a long time since he gave a second glance to a woman. But there was something about Sara. She was beautiful, smart and had a wonderful gap toothed smile that made him feel things he hadn't felt in years. He leaned back in his chair and imagined what it would feel like to run his tongue along the small space between her teeth while his hands explored her round hips and breasts.

The telephone ringing interrupted his very _un_ professor like thoughts.

"Grissom."

"Uh, hi. Um, Dr. Grissom - um-.."

Sara's mind drew a complete blank. His voice was incredibly sexy on the telephone.

"Sara?" At the lecture's end, Sara had more questions, thoughts and ideas, so Grissom had given her his telephone number with plans to continue their discussion. Who was he kidding? Grissom simply wanted to hear her throaty voice that made his insides vibrate.

"Sara?"

__

Right! Yes! She was Sara. She reminded herself.

"It's me."

"Sara, how are you?"

__

Uh?

"Sara, this conversation will go a lot more smoothly if you answer back."

She visibly relaxed when she heard the smile in his voice.

And so began an easy camaraderie and they became fast friends.

By the third week of class, Sara and Grissom were spending most of their free time together. It started off with long talks after sessions, then progressed to dinner and shared meals on the weekend. They talked about any and everything from forensics to their families.

They connected on an intellectual level immediately and neither was surprised when their attraction quickly moved to a sexual level. It started with personal space violations and innocent brushes against one another. Then there were shy touches and outright looks hunger. Both found it increasingly impossible to keep their hands off of one another.

Grissom knew he had long crossed the line of sanity. What was he doing in a relationship with his student? His much _younger_ student? They had not consummated their relationship but at the rate they were going, it wouldn't be long. He was only human.

He couldn't help it; all of his logical and ethical reasoning went out of the door when he looked into her beautiful brown eyes or when she smiled that special smile reserved especially for him. He was risking everything, his career and reputation to be with Sara but when she was in his arms, he couldn't think of any other place he would rather be.

Sara stared at her reflection in the mirror. What was she doing? She'd fallen in love with her professor - she'd fallen in love with _Grissom_. Though she considered herself reasonably intelligent, she knew this was not the smartest thing she'd ever done, by far.

Even though they were careful, she knew that if any one found out, Grissom would be fired. She didn't care what happened to her, but his career was his life and she wouldn't purposefully do anything to jeopardize that.

But he was the one. In her heart, she knew that he would be the only man she would ever love. Gil Grissom had become her world and they hadn't even had sex! He was her first thought when she woke and her last when she closed her eyes to sleep. She dreamed of a life with him when he returned to Las Vegas. She never gave into childish fantasies before but she couldn't help dreaming of marrying Grissom and bearing his children. It's what she wanted more than anything in the world and when she looked into his beautiful blue eyes, she knew that he loved her too.

He was in love with her. The concept was foreign to him but there was no other was to describe the way he felt. The timing could not have been worse, however. His position as visiting professor would be over in six weeks. It was crazy. What would he do when he went back to Vegas? Pretend that he hadn't become involved with his student?

Maybe Sara would forget about him when he left. She'd finish school, probably be offered a wonderful position somewhere as a physicists and eventually marry and raise a family with someone closer to her own age. Speaking of which, their age difference had been the source of more of his already prematurely graying hair. He'd be forty soon. Time was a luxury that they both did not share. She said it didn't matter to her. She may think that now, but what about in ten years?

He downed the remainder of his scotch and dialed the phone with clumsy fingers.

"Willows."

"Hey, Cath. It's Grissom."

"What's going on, Gil? You partying alone?" She commented on his slightly slurred speech.

Grissom sighed deeply and then plunged in headfirst.

"Catherine, I'm in trouble."

"What's up? You need me there?"

Grissom smiled. Her reaction was not unexpected. He knew like he knew his own name that Catherine Willows was his true friend.

"It's nothing like that."

"Ookaaay. Spill it Gil, you're killing me here."

"There's this girl…" Grissom started speaking and didn't stop until he told Catherine everything.

It felt good to finally share his predicament with someone.

"Oh my God. Grissom, you're in love with her." Catherine said with plenty of emotion.

"I think so."

"I'm happy for you."

"But?"

"But, I see the problem."

As Grissom's tenure drew closer to an end, their passion was spiraling out of control.

"Sara wait." Grissom groaned one night at his apartment.

"Can't I stay? Please, I think I'll go crazy if I don't stay. I need you." Sara breathed into his neck.

"Sara." His said fighting for control. "We can't."

Sara began to weep. "I want to be with you so bad."

"I'm so sorry sweetheart. I should have never let it go this far." He whispered and held her close. It broke his heart to turn her away. He wasn't sure how many times he would be able to. He wasn't sure that he wanted to anymore.

"Grissom, I love you. I -I want to be with you."

He kissed away her tears, and then moved down to her lips.

"Sara, I…but…we- I can't." He struggled with the words.

"Don't you want to be with me?"

"Sara, I ache for you. But-"

"Don't." She placed a finger to his lips to silence him. "Just tonight. Love me, just for tonight?"

Grissom met her eyes and knew he would never have the strength to deny her anything - not even when everything he'd worked so hard for was at stake. He felt like he was standing on the ledge of a tall building. He sighed heavily, and then took the plunge. "Just tonight."

Sara woke the next morning in a cocoon of warmth. This is what it would have been like, she mused. This is what it would have been like to wake up next to him every morning for the rest of her life. But it would never happen again. He had made his decision. He didn't want her that way.

She almost sobbed out loud as all of her fantasies of a future life with Grissom crumbled. After last night, they would continue as friends and in a few weeks, he would return to Las Vegas and she would return to her desolate life.

Grissom stirred in his sleep as she studied his relaxed face openly. Sara was sure he had no idea how beautiful he was. Planting small kisses on his cheeks, she could tell from the change in his breathing that he was waking.

"Morning." Grissom murmured.

"Morning." She returned softly, meeting her eyes. "I should go."

"Sara, I've been thinking…"

Sara braced herself for the rejection she knew was coming. But she'd been prepared for this; this was how it had to be. She wouldn't have traded one second of their time together. She had no regrets.

"I know, Grissom. And I understand. I'll go now."

"Sara, wait." He reached to stop her progress from the bed. "Stay."

"Grissom, it'll be easier, no, it would be better for me to go now before-."

"Sara, I love you."

"I love you too, but that doesn't solve anything."

"I know, but it's a start. I'm going to apply for a permanent teaching position here."

"What? Really? What about your job in Las Vegas?"

"I- I can't imagine - I can't leave you. Class is almost over, you'll no longer be my student we could um…get married…I-I mean, if you wanted to…only if you wanted to."

Sara sat up stunned. He was willing to give up everything to be with her?

"Yes, I want to."

They agreed that Sara would keep her apartment until after the semester was finished but that didn't stop them from spending every available moment together. Grissom contacted his mother that same night, and as expected, she was thrilled with the news. Sara's parents, however, were skeptical of their daughter's choice. Her mother felt that she was too young and that Grissom was too old for her. Sara quickly dispelled any further arguments as her own father was ten years older than her mother.

Everything was perfect. For just a little while, everything was fine.

The night Grissom came home to tell Sara his good news - he'd been offered a position at the University, he returned home to an empty apartment. Sara was gone. All of her belongings had been removed from the premises. Grissom was stunned.

She'd been paying too much attention in class apparently, as she left no physical evidence of her previous existence in the apartment. She did, however, leave a note. A note that explained that she changed her mind, that she was indeed too young to rush into marriage.

It was like a bad movie Grissom thought as he fell onto the couch, clutching her note in his hands. He knew that she had been tense and withdrawn lately, but he had contributed it to the stress of finals and hiding their relationship. Never, did he think that she was unhappy. She gave no sign. There was no indication. They loved each other.

The final lines of her note devastated Grissom. Sara wrote that she had met someone. Someone, she could have a more realistic future with. Her words screamed _"someone my own age."_

She was gone 

Grissom returned to Las Vegas a changed man. There was no way he could stay in Boston and see her with another man. Instead, he poured himself into his work, vowing that no one would never again have the opportunity to hurt him that way. Upon his return, he was offered the position of night shift supervisor, which he gladly accepted. More work meant less time at home to think. He eventually shared the story with Catherine only with the promise that they would never discuss it again and they never did.

**__**

Eight years later…

**__**

Las Vegas Crime Lab…

Grissom walked into the conference room and took a seat at the head of the table.

"Let's review what we have so far on the Mather's case."

Grissom nodded his head in Warrick Brown's direction, and he began. Nick Stokes, the newest CSI to the team eagerly jumped with his information while Catherine wrapped up everything they had to offer last.

"Good. Now let's go back to the scene with fresh eyes. Seems, we'll finally be getting some help…"

She could hear his voice from the hall. Following the directions to the room as instructed, she stepped into the small room and spotted Grissom immediately.

"Excuse me." She said clearing her throat and getting everyone's attention.

She couldn't have missed Grissom's scowl if she were blind.

Grissom's mouth fell open, and then he quickly recovered. "What are you doing here?" He demanded harshly.

"I-uh. I'm the new CSI." She finished defiantly.

Nick, Warrick and Catherine were shocked at Grissom's open hostility to the stranger.

"Not for long!" Grissom spat out, jumping up from his chair, sending his chair crashing to the floor.

"Whoa! Gil? What's going on here?" Catherine questioned with a hand on his arm.

"There's been a mistake." He said gesturing towards the stranger.

"There hasn't been a mistake. I'm the new CSI, so live with it." Sara spewed hotly. No way was she going to let him see how much he affected her.

"Okay, so who are you?" Warrick questioned.

"Sara Sidle, CSI Level II from San Francisco." She said extending a hand.

Catherine almost fell out of her chair when she introduced herself!

"_You're_ Sara Sidle?" She said incredulously.

"I am."


	2. Chapter Two

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Stay

Chapter Two

Glass shook violently as Grissom stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind him.

Sara turned to face the remaining strangers.

"Why are you here? And what in the hell makes you think you could just stroll in here after eight years?" Catherine demanded.

Warrick and Nick threw each other questioning glances. _Eight years?_

Right. Grissom's best friend, Sara guessed. "You must be Catherine."

"Damn right, I'm Catherine. And I know all about you."

"Can't say _I _have that pleasure. Warrick Brown, CSI Level III."

"Nice to meet you Warrick." Sara returned, accepting his hand. "Like I mentioned before, my name is Sara Sidle, CSI Level II from San Francisco."

"Nick Stokes, welcome aboard." He offered, shaking her hand as well.

"Don't get too comfortable." Catherine threw over her shoulder as she left the room, heading for Grissom's office.

Grissom was sick. Literally and fugitively. After leaving the conference room, he barely made it to the bathroom before his dinner made a second appearance. Seeing Sara again after all these years, shook him to his core.

He sat down heavily in his chair to relieve his shaky legs and closed his eyes to ward off a headache. At first, he thought he'd seen a ghost. Years after returning to Las Vegas, he would imagine he saw Sara or heard her voice. But this was no mirage, she was real.

He just wasn't prepared for the flux of emotions that hit him all at once. Shock, fear, relief, love, longing and then anger. Grissom had dreamed many times what it would be like if he ever saw Sara again. They would have a chance meeting in the streets of Boston. She would be divorced with twelve children and completely unattractive. Or she would seek him out, begging for his forgiveness.

Sara's return was nothing like that. She was still beautiful and he was now her supervisor. Grissom immediately took up the matter with the Director, after his pit stop in the bathroom, but to no avail. Carvello had long before pressed him to hire an additional CSI but Grissom insisted that he was too busy and forwarded that responsibility to Carvello and Human Resources. Sara was correct - it was final so he had to live with it. The question was, _how_? Seeing her again just reminded him what he knew all along - he would never get over Sara Sidle.

"How are you holding up?"

Grissom startled at the sound of Catherine's voice. "Fine, I guess." He mumbled while massaging his temples. He felt the migraine building.

"You talked to Carvello?"

"Yeah."

"And?" She prompted.

"And, we have a new CSI to welcome to the team."

"Just like that? He's sticking us with some rookie-"

"It's not just like that and she's not some rookie." Grissom stated defensively. "I've read her personnel file and her record is exemplary. Top notch. We're lucky to have her."

Grissom's tone caught Catherine's attention. She cocked her head to one side in confusion and curiosity. "_Really_?"

"Catherine, don't start." Grissom warned.

"Grissom, do you _want_ her here?"

"No. Yes. I don't know."

"After what she did to you? Do you want to have to see her face everyday?"

"Catherine, we agreed not to talk about this."

"We agreed eight years ago when we thought you'd never see her again. Now, she's here and part of our team! A team of members who rely on and trust one another. I'm supposed to trust _her _to watch my back?"

"Yes. And my personal business is just that - personal! It has no place here. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a few minutes before assignments."

"Yeah well, we're not done talking about this."

"I never imagined we were, Catherine. But it'll have to wait until after shift."

Minutes later, Grissom returned to the conference to find everything as it was before his abrupt departure. He gave Catherine her very own DB to keep her busy. The last thing he needed was Catherine interrogating Sara. Without making eye contact, he assigned Sara with Nick and Warrick on a B&E and sent them on there way.

Sara excused herself and went to the ladies room fuming. She knew her reappearance into Grissom's life would be a shock but she had expected him to keep their personal business separate from work.

Deep breaths. She had to calm down. After all, she was the one that walked away. He'd offered her a life with him and she simply walked away without a backwards glance. Hell, she didn't even know if he had married. There was no ring, but that didn't mean there wasn't a Mrs. Grissom somewhere. Actually, she knew there was not a Mrs. Grissom, other than his mother. Sara had been tracking him since they left Boston.

They needed to talk. Soon. She could handle a few days of his ignoring her and open hostility from Catherine while he adjusted to her presence, then they would talk. She needed him to understand why she left then maybe, just maybe he would forgive her.

There was no other choice, she had to make this work. And she only had a few weeks to get it together. Left up to her, she would have never come to Las Vegas. But there was just more than her own happiness at stake.

**__**

Several days later…

Catherine had finally closed the case on her dead body and joined Warrick, Nick and Sara in the Conference room. Grissom had done a good job of keeping she and Sara at a distance but he should have known he couldn't pull that off forever. She eyed Warrick and Nick, sending non-verbal cues to vacate the area.

"Um, I'm going for a coffee refill." Warrick announced, picking up on Catherine's hint. "Nick?"

"Yeah, me too."

When their backs disappeared around the corner. Catherine turned to Sara. "Again, why are you here? What kind of game are you playing?"

"Catherine, this has nothing to do with you-."

"Like hell it doesn't! You ripped my best friend's heart out then coerced your way into the only place he's been able to find peace."

"It's not like that."

"Then how is it? What's your agenda?"

'It wasn't my fault!' Sara wanted to scream. She would have gladly married Grissom, moved to Vegas and lived happily ever after, if it wasn't for outside interference. She would have done anything to spare Grissom the pain of her rejection but she did what she thought was best. She was reminded daily of her betrayal of Grissom and wore it like a Scarlet Letter.

Catherine watched Sara wither under her verbal assault. Maybe there was more to this than her dumping Grissom for a younger guy? She leaned back in her chair to study the brunette. She was beautiful. Not in the cover-girl type of way but a more classic look. Grissom said that she was a Physics major. Brainy and cute, definitely his type. Continuing her examination, Catherine noticed that she wore no wedding ring and still used Sidle. So, she was single. _And_ she took a permanent position here. Sara wasn't going anywhere. Was she planning on winning Grissom back?

"What's your agenda?"

"Excuse me?"

"Are you here for Grissom? Are you here to try to pick up where you left off?"

"That's none of -."

"Save it sister. You show up here after all these years. Still young, pretty and single…taking a long term position…obviously you changed your major in college."

"So?"

"So, it sounds to me like you've been following Grissom's footsteps and they led you here. So, now that you are here, what's the plan?"

They shared at each other for several minutes before she gave in with a sigh. This day had been stressful. Shit, the last eight years had been stressful. And Catherine was right, she had come here with an agenda. She understood Catherine's fierce protectiveness of her friend and she knew Catherine would have been the one Grissom turned to for comfort when she left. Unfortunately, Sara also realized that if she had any chance of making things right - any chance of getting Grissom back, then she would have to go through Catherine.


	3. Chapter Three

Stay

Chapter Three

A/N: It's been a while since I've updated this story, so I'll have to ease back into it. I made some small adjustments and corrected typos in the previous chapters. Nothing significant. Thanks for reviewing my other stories. I have no claim to CSI whatsoever.

A week and a half passed and Sara was no closer to mending fences with Grissom than when she landed in Vegas.

Mainly, because Grissom avoided her with the skill of a seasoned running back. Sara was only assigned to work with Grissom along with another team member, ensuring that they would never be alone. Yet, the little time they did spend in one another's presence, the renewed attraction was undeniable.

Maybe it was the deja-vu feeling as the teacher/student dynamic once again developed. Whatever the case, watching Grissom in his element filled her with a sense of longing, guilt and regret.

Sara regretted the years she robbed Grissom of a life they could have had together. Would he ever forgive her? Would he eventually be able to see past the film of betrayal that clouded his vision and kept her emotionally as well as physically at arm's length?

She could see the struggle in his eyes when they were near one another. It was becoming more difficult to fight the magnetic force of their mutual attraction. Sara prayed that eventually he would come to accept her presence in his life as a positive contribution and quickly, for she had so much more to share with him.

Grissom tried his level best to steer clear of Sara. He had no choice in her employment with the lab but he would not allow Sara's presence to disrupt his well- choreographed life. His plan had been borderline successful until tonight. Tonight had been unavoidable. A call came in for a DB with lots of bugs. Apparently, Sara had been the only CSI available to work with him - or so Catherine swore.

Things were going great until they started processing the body. It seemed as if she was reading his mind. Every time Grissom opened his mouth for a request, Sara was already sliding the object desired into his hand. There had been no need for words. She had correctly anticipated his every move.

Their bodies had always worked in perfect symmetry on a personal level, he knew professionally it would be no different. Instead of being pleased with the knowledge, Grissom was agitated, frustrated, and pretty damn turned on! And it only got worse. The pull he felt to Sara was insane. When she was near, he had to touch her. And he did - her arm, leg and hands. Though Sara never moved away or complained when he invaded her personal space, surely she must have found it disturbing that her supervisor was fondling her. Hell, if he wasn't so busy satisfying his primal urges, Grissom would have writing himself up for sexually harassing Sara.

He couldn't help himself. Against his will, past images of Sara's slick body moving beneath him invaded his mind, overriding all rational thoughts. Eight years quickly melted away, leaving Grissom desperate to have Sara again.

When he wasn't touching her, Sara was watching him. Grissom could feel the heat of her stare as he moved about the crime scene. It wasn't a 'I'm just checking to see where you are in the room' stare, it was a seductive 'I can't take my eyes off of you' stare. Sara was slowly driving him mad! Heaven help.

Catherine walked up behind Brass. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Enjoying the show." Brass retuned with a smile as he watched Sara and Grissom silently process the crime scene. Their hands worked in unison as they bagged, tagged and stored the evidence. "Those two always work so..._in sync _with one another?"

"Yeah. It's been that way since she got here. Not that Grissom allows them to work together often. But when he does, it's like they've got some geek telepathy going on. The sexual chemistry between those two was so intense the other night, by the time they wrapped up the crime scene, _I_ needed a cigarette."

Brass chuckled, then nudged Catherine. "So, why aren't they back together?"

Catherine shrugged, she really had no idea what was going on between the two. What she _did_ know was that if Sara returned with the plan of seducing Grissom - she was succeeding. If Catherine didn't know that he and Sara shared a past, she would think that Grissom was in the throes of a midlife crisis.

One minute he was the cool and reserved Grissom, Bug Doctor Extraordinaire, the minute Sara walks in the room he's a bumbling, stumbling teenage idiot with a crush on the homecoming queen. Catherine never thought she would see the day when Grissom was taken down by a mere woman.

The scary part was that Sara seemed to have no clue of the effect she had on him. And she was no better. Sara's IQ was many digits above Catherine's, of this she was certain. But one heated glance from Grissom and Sara's brain turns to mush. Four years of Harvard education down the drain. In Sara's defense, Catherine would find it difficult to think too if her boss was always had his paws on her! And she stares at him constantly! Jeez Oh Man!

They seriously needed a roll in the hay. If this kept up, Catherine was sure they would contaminate the scene one day.

"Ouch!" Sara grumbled.

"What happened?" Grissom questioned concerned. Immediately at her side.

"Oh, nothing, Just got my finger caught in the latch of my case. It's nothing…"

Her voice trailed off, Grissom already had her hand engulfed in his examining her injury. It was impossible to complete a thought with Grissom so close to her. He was always there. Drowning her senses with his 'Grissom scent,' rendering her speechless. He was reeling her in like a fish on a hook.

Thankfully, they finished up without further incident. Catherine had arrived at some point but never bothered to make themselves known.

The ride back to the lab was uncomfortable until Sara broke the silence.

"We should talk."

"You think?"

"Grissom." Sara huffed. "We have to-." Her words were interrupted by his cell phone.

"Grissom. Yes Catherine, we're on our way back now. _Yes. _I'm hanging up." He threatened, followed through.

"Keeping tabs on you?" Sara wasn't sure why she was irritated.

Grissom only grunted in response.

Later, Sara entered her home, exhausted. Her body had yet to adjust working the overnight shift. Tossing her keys and purse on a stack of waist high boxes, Sara sidestepped several more and headed to the kitchen for something to eat.

Deciding on a power bar, Sara nibbled while studying the layout of her small three bedroom apartment. A house would have been better but it would do for now. She had not unpacked anything but toiletries and was literally living out of her suitcases. Meanwhile, she had a lot of work to do to get ready.

"I guess I'll start here." Sara mumbled out loud, tackling the boxes marked 'kitchen.'

The thoughtless task, allowed Sara the opportunity to reflect. The first week working at the lab, Grissom wore a shocked expression every time he saw her. It was like he forgot she was there and only remembered she existed when he saw her. Last week things really started to get weird between them.

She and Grissom had worked a case together with Nick. A DB with suspicious circumstances that turned out to be a suicide. Nick took leave out of town on a family emergency, leaving the two to wrap up the case. They were working on the closing notes when their hands accidentally brushed one another.

There was an electric jolt that Sara knew Grissom also felt. Both pretended as if the contact never happened but the tension was hard to ignore.

Since then, they had been on the verge of spontaneous combustion and tonight was no different. Sara felt like she was twelve again, following behind Grissom like he was an eighties movie star idol. She couldn't get enough of him visually. Of course, her mother taught her not to stare, but if possible, Grissom seemed to grow more and more attraction each time she saw him.

Sara shook her head, thoughts like those were getting her nowhere. She needed to stop procrastinating and get on with the business that brought her here.

Sara was putting the finishing touches on one o the smaller bedrooms when the doorbell rang. She opened the door to find Grissom leaning lazily against her door frame.


	4. Chapter Four

Stay

Chapter Four

Damn he looked good!

"What are you doing here?" Sara panicked, once she was done being amazed with his good looks. He wasn't supposed to be there. She needed to speak to him before he found out anything on his own.

"You said you wanted talk." He shrugged boyishly, glancing over her shoulder at the mass of marked boxes.

"Okay, let's go to your place."

"That'll work."

Sara snatched her keys and closed the door behind them.

**_S_**ara could have guessed what Grissom's home would look like but she would have not been correct. Grissom lived modest townhouse in an elevated area just outside the city. Inside, the tan walls of the living room were covered with rare beautiful butterflies and other small specimens. Dark metal blinds hung on the large windows obscuring what must be a breathtaking view of Las Vegas at night. Equally dark, leather furniture sparely filled the large room. Shelves filled with books and journals lined the walls to complete the décor.

She shivered as she slid onto the brown couch. The room was interesting but felt cold and impersonal.

Grissom busied himself in the kitchen making coffee, needing the time to think. He couldn't figure out what he wanted to do about Sara. Professionally, Sara had proven, thus far, to be invaluable. Grissom could not have asked for a more competent CSI. Her investigative skills were flawless and instinctual. Level three would come speedily. It was only a matter of time before Sara's solve rate would surpass her peers.

Personally, Grissom was flummoxed. He still loved Sara and wanted her badly. Any other line of thought would be untrue and a complete waste of time. On the other hand, Catherine had been correct, seeing Sara everyday was taking its toll, wearing down his resolve and slowly driving him insane. How dare his carefully constructed wall of anger and hurt dissipate so quickly. Those feelings had served as a buffer for so long, Grissom wasn't sure how to proceed without them.

Sara was getting under his skin and seemingly without much effort.

Grissom watched as Sara inspected his butterfly and book collection then took a seat on the couch. She said they needed to talk. Indeed they did. Obviously, she was in town to stay and quite determined to reconnect with him on some level.

Perhaps, he should take what she had to offer. It's not like there was ever going to be anyone else for him. Maybe her reappearance meant that she gotten the youthful follies out of her system and was ready to settle down with him? Maybe she missed him as much as he missed her? The hunger in her eyes confirmed that she felt the same driving need to mate.

Screw it. He was tired of trying to read her mind and was having no luck with her body language other than the obvious. He would take what she was offering. If all she wanted was to bed him, then he would be a willing participant for as long as she would have him. If she loved him, well that would be an added bonus. When she left, and he knew that she eventually would, well he'd worry about that when the time came. Grissom was tired of being alone.

Yeah - they needed to talk. He didn't need the details of her betrayal, he only needed to know if she was finished wandering. Sowing her seeds, so to speak. In a way, he was glad that she had a chance to live out her youth. Now, he needn't feel too guilty for saddling her with the burdens that would come with his increasing age. She _did_ come to him, so she must have considered these things.

Grissom handed Sara a steaming mug of coffee before taking a seat next to her on the couch. Of course, there was the loveseat and recliner available but Grissom was ready for a more direct approach. Sara didn't seem to mind the closeness.

"Grissom," Sara began uncertainly. "I know it's been difficult with me here after the way things ended between us."

"You mean, since you left me." Grissom amended without rancor.

"Yes, since I left you. I wanted to explain about that."

"Don't."

"Excuse, me?"

"Don't. We need to move on from _that_. I assume your coming here was not an accident?"

"No, it wasn't. I've been following your career."

"I suspected as much. Then you came here to see me? Get closure? Or was the move purely career driven?"

"All of the above, I suppose. Las Vegas has the number two lab in the country. I'd be foolish to pass up the opportunity. But mainly, I came here to see you and find some peace."

"What does that mean? Are you interested in pursuing a relationship with me? Be honest, Sara. I need to know what your intentions are."

"I - I don't know. I guess I wanted to know if - if you still liked me." Sara finished with a shrug. Verbalizing her personal feelings had never been a strong suit.

"If I still like you? Sara, I'm still in love with you."

Sara sat the mug on the coffee table harder than she intended, then leaned back on the couch stunned. She imagined it would be harder than this. Never did she think Grissom would be willing to give her another chance.

"Grissom, I love you too."

"That's good to know."

They sat facing one another grinning like Cheshire cats for several minutes before Sara spoke. "I'm so sorry, Grissom. I never meant to hurt you. I swear."

"I won't lie and say that I wasn't devastated when you left but in some ways, I understand and I forgive you."

Grissom pulled Sara close to him and whispered in her ear. "Don't leave me again, Sara."

Sara gasped from the closeness of his mouth to her ear and the forcefulness of his words.

"Never. Never again, Grissom. But there's more I need to tell you-"

"Later." Grissom silenced her with a searing kiss.

**_G_**rissom woke to cool air against is naked form.

"Sara?" He called sleepily.

"I'm here. Go back to sleep." Her voice returned in the darkness.

"Come back to bed."

When she did not respond, he leaned over and flicked on the lamp on the nightstand.

Sara was fully dressed.

"You're leaving." Grissom stated the obvious.

"I- I didn't want to wake you."

"You were going to leave without a word." His voice was full of pain and accusation. Both knew he was referring to her current and previous actions.

"I'll call a cab."

"Damn it, Sara. I'll take you home!" Grissom swore as he flung the bed sheets to one side. "Will you at least give me a chance to shower?"

Sara nodded and left the room.

Grissom was shaking with anger by the time he stepped into the shower stall. What in the hell was he doing? He should have known better than to trust her again. When would he ever learn?

The hot spray of water soaked his skin, taking away the chill that had invaded his body and soul as he thought of her loving words during their lovemaking.

Grissom tilted his head and watched the water glide over his angles and down the drain, feeling his anger and bitterness slip down the path with it.

She wasn't going anywhere.

Maybe leaving his bed and his home but she was not leaving Las Vegas. This morning was probably as awkward for Sara as it was for him considering their past.

If he wanted to solidify his relationship with Sara, then he needed to get past his bitterness and insecurities. He was sure she harbored plenty of guilt and he needed to relieve her of that and rebuild the trust.

He grabbed the shower gel and cloth and made swift work of his shower. Sara made the first move by returning to Vegas and securing employment at the lab. The next move was up to him. He wanted Sara back, for good.

Grissom dressed quickly and tried to push back an uneasy feeling that settled in his stomach.

Probably just nerves.

Sara was leafing through a periodic journal when he entered the living room.

"Would you like some coffee or tea?"

She spun, startled. "Uh - no. No, thank you."

"Then, let's sit for a moment." He gestured towards the couch. "I don't want to leave things this way."

Sara sat stiffly on the edge if the couch, then jumped up as soon as Grissom sat down.

"Sara?"

"I think I should go." She decided while pacing nervously.

"Sara."

Sara stopped moving and turned to Grissom. Something in his tone calmed her.

"Stay."

Sara smiled and took a seat next to Grissom on the couch.

**_G_**rissom was pinning down a matured blowfly to a cork board when the hairs on the back of his neck began to bristle. Smiling, he looked up to meet Sara's steady gaze.

"How's it going?" Sara returned his smile and ventured to Grissom's Linear Regression Table.

"It's going. Actually, I'm just about done. How about you?"

"I have some papers to drop off to Brass. Warrick's headed there too, I'll hitch a ride with him. So, we can talk this morning after shift?"  
"Yes, we can talk." Grissom grinned as he remembered their last attempt the day before to 'talk.'

"Really, Grissom. We absolutely, must talk this morning."

His grin faded as he noted her seriousness. "Yes. Anything the matter, Sara?"

"Nothing's _wrong_, but I just need to discuss a few things with you this morning that cannot wait any longer."

"Did you want to come by or meet me at the diner?" Grissom did not bother to suggest Sara's home. She seemed uncomfortable with him there last time.

"I'll be over after shift." Sara replied then leaned over further to inspect his work. In the process, her breast grazed his bare forearm.

Grissom barely suppressed a moan as he sucked in the light scent of her hair.

"Good job." She added then sauntered out of the room.

"Yes, we'll talk." He mused out loud.

"**_E_**xcuse me? I'm looking for Sara Sidle."

"Do you have an appointment?" Judie the receptionist peered over her glasses suspiciously.

"Well, no. My name is Abby. Sara's mother if that helps."

"Indeed. Let me page her." Task complete, Judie stepped around the desk. "Aren't you the cutest things I've ever seen!"

Two sets of curious eyes stared back at her.

"Is there somewhere we can sit?" Abby questioned.

"Oh, sure. Why don't you take the little darlings to the break room? There's a soda and snack machine in there."

"Thank you."

Abigail Sidle hustled her charges into the glass encased room.

"Would you two like some apple juice?"

Both heads bobbed furiously as Abby dug through her large shoulder bad for change.

Catherine was on her way to Trace when she spotted a child wandering the hall.

"Well, hello there. What's you name?" Her maternal instincts kicking in.

"I'm not supposed to talk to strangers."

Catherine smiled at the girl she guessed was no more than seven or eight years old but probably tall for her age. Her brown hair was shoulder length with curls that danced wildly with every movement of her head.

"My name's Catherine Willows. I work here." She removed her ID badge and offered it as proof.

Catherine watched as the young girl studied, then ran a finger over the ID as if she were committing it to memory. Satisfied, she handed the badge back. "My name is Gillian."

"That's a nice name. Do your friends call you Gil?"

"No, they call me Gillian."

Okay. Catherine tried another approach. "Are you here with your Mommy or Daddy?"

"My Mom works here." She announced proudly.

Now we're getting somewhere. "And what's your mother's name?" She asked but realized that she no longer had Gillian's attention.

Following her line of vision, Catherine found Gillian's intense gaze focused on Grissom. He was walking down the hall with his head buried deep into a file, glasses in hand when Gillian walked up to him.

"Daddy?"

Grissom's head jerked up confused and Catherine almost hit the floor.

Grissom looked down to find a small frame with blue eyes that mirrored his own. Her curls bounced as she cocked her head to one side to study him.

She was beautiful. Definitely a heartbreaker. It was moments like these that Grissom regretted never having children of his own.

"Hi. Honey, are you lost?" Grissom asked, sliding his glasses on for a closer look.

"No, I'm not lost. You're Gilbert Grissom."

That feeling in Grissom's stomach returned full force as he leaned forward with a frown. There was something…

"Gillian!"

Everyone turned towards the voice of an older woman making her way down the hall, a young boy in tow behind her. "I told you to stay put!"

The woman stopped in her tracks about half way and took in the scene. She gasped as realization set in.

"Abigail Sidle?" Grissom asked, also shocked. He had never met her but he had seen enough photos to recognize the person that gave birth to the woman he loved.

"Gilbert." She acknowledged unnecessarily. Obviously, she recognized him also.

Grissom's brain was still processing the scene when his eyes landed on the boy. It was his turn to gasp. The child was a splitting image of Sara.

Sara had a son. The thought alone hit Grissom like a sledge hammer to the back of the head. She has a son.

Then he looked at the girl who had now moved quietly to the boy's side and took his hand, protectively. His sister. Sara had a daughter too.

Of course, Sara would have moved on with her life after him. She was still very young, he rationalized. He was the only one faithful to a dream. When did she marry? Why keep her children a secret. Why…

Grissom's mind worked furiously as he pushed aside the feelings of agony and betrayal and quickly began to examine the facts. Sara had two children- very close in age. Her personnel file never mentioned her being divorced or ever married for that matter but that certainly did not discount children.

He studied the children. Probably, seven or eight years old. Sara must have gotten pregnant immediately after she left him…unless? He stared openly at the boy. He's Sara. Then moved to the girl. She was staring right back at him almost as if she was waiting for him to figure it out.

He took in her delicate features. The familiar blues eyes smiled at him and he got it. She called me 'Daddy' as if she said it everyday.

He moved forward on shaky legs. "Twins?" Addressing the pintsize female version of him.

She nodded. "I'm Gillian and this is Gilbert." Gillian introduced them then tugged her shy brother from behind her.

"Gil." The boy grumbled, irritated with his sisters introduction.

"Holy Hell!" Catherine swore.


	5. Chapter Five

****

Stay

Chapter Five

**__**

CSI Lab…

"Sara, you sure you won't have breakfast with us? It'll be fun." Warrick coxed as they returned to the lab from PD.

"Thanks, I'd love to, but honestly, I can't. I've got so much to do at home, it's not even funny. The boxes are still stacked a mile high. I appreciate the offer though." Sara placed a hand on Warrick's arm to reinforce her sincerity. Warrick, Nick and Greg had been extremely kind and helpful since her arrival. "Maybe tomorrow, I can…"

Words disappeared from Sara's mouth as they rounded the corner. In the middle of the hallway was Catherine, Grissom, Sara's mother, her son and daughter.

"Mom?" Sara questioned eyes wide with alarm, her heart rate picking up, double time. Sara's first thought was that something was wrong and quickly closed the distance, her eyes examining the children for signs of obvious injury. "What's the matter? Are they hurt?"

"Mommy!" The twins squealed in delight, rushing into their mother's open arms.

"Oh, I've missed you babies!" Sara's reply was heavy with emotions of relief and joy as the three snuggled together in a group hug.

"_Mooommmm_." Gil whined. "Not a baby!"

"You'll always be my baby. Give Mommy kiss!"

"_Mmoooommm_!" Giggles erupted, as Sara tickled their tummies.

Catherine smiled at the familiar mother/child banter while Grissom stared on in utter fascination.

"You two feeling okay?" Sara questioned again, still looking for some hidden ailment.

"We're okay, Mommy." Gillian reassured her mother, then leaned to Sara's ear. "Daddy's here." The little girl's excitement barely contained.

"Yes, sweetheart. Yes, he is."

"Sara."

Sara looked up, acknowledging her Mother's nervous voice.

"We're early." Abby offered as explanation.

__

Indeed. Sara thought furiously as she stood to meet her mother's gaze. "We'll talk later."

Grissom wasn't sure what was going on between the two, but he caught the edge in Sara's voice. "Sara?"

Grissom's voice broke through the silent standoff between mother and daughter.

"Grissom." Sara sighed in resignation. She wondered of there was a greeting card for this particular situation?

As drawn as Catherine was to the events unfolding before her, she spotted movement further down the hall.

"Why don't we take this reunion to Grissom's office?" She suggested, catching Director Carvello's eye. She ushered the group into Grissom's office while tossing Warrick an '_I'll explain this later' _look.

Inside, the children where easily distracted by the wonders of Grissom's office, leaving the adults standing in awkward silence.

"Grissom, I didn't want you to find out this way." Sara started. And she hadn't. Sara had intended to speak with Grissom first, to give them time to work past the hurt, shock and anger she knew was to come. She didn't want the children to be a part of that. And certainly not to witness it. Sara had always depicted Grissom as a positive figure in their life. She didn't want that image tainted because of bad timing on her part. Sara had always made it clear to them that she was solely responsible for Grissom not being a part of their lives.

"You waited long enough, Sara. It was either now or send the man an invitation to their high school graduation." Sara rolled her eyes. Abigail Sidle was not being helpful.

Catherine opened her mouth to comment, but one sharp glance from Grissom and she wisely chose to remain silent.

Sara wasn't sure what her mother was up to with this stunt but she didn't want the children or Grissom caught in the middle. "Mom, not now. Grissom, it's not what it looks like-"

"No? Are those not my children over there?" Grissom queried.

"_Yeesss_. Let me explain."

"Yes, but not now, not here."

"Okay, let's go to my place." The suggestion earned Sara a surprised look from Grissom. "Mom, have the children eaten?"

"Not yet. We drove straight here from the highway. I was hoping we could have breakfast together."

"Why don't I pick up Lindsey and join you and the twins? By the way, I'm Catherine." Catherine managed in one breath, figuring that Grissom and Sara could certainly use the alone time. "How old are they?"

"Seven years old." Sara answered with a smile.

"Excellent, my daughter is eight."

"That's very kind of you, Catherine. I suppose we will be on our way then." Abby accepted the offer, also sensing Sara and Grissom's need for privacy. "Oh, will need directions to your home, Sara."

While the women hashed out the fine details, Grissom had gravitated to the children. Sara watched silently as Grissom patiently explained and answered their questions about his bugs. A large lump formed in her throat. He was a natural. What had she been thinking keeping them from their father? What had she done?

"Alright, guys. You two go with your Nana and Mrs. Catherine for breakfast. I'll be at home waiting for you when you are finished." Sara directed, trying to keep her emotions in check.

"Will Daddy be there too?" Gil asked shyly from behind his sister.

Sara stole a quick glance at Grissom to gauge his reaction. She didn't want to put him on the spot or make him uncomfortable. His smile and nod of the head in affirmation brought a smile to her face as well. "Yes. Your father will be there also. Now, scoot."

**__**

Sara's Apartment…

Grissom's outstanding ability to mentally compartmentalize his feelings came in handy today. To say that he was shocked by 'discovering' that he fathered two children would have been an understatement.

Deep down, Grissom had felt as if Sara was holding something back from him. He thought that it was guilt for leaving him long ago. Never in a million years would he have guessed this. Children? Twins?

His mind ventured back to his brief encounter with Gillian and Gil. Grissom had walked over and introduced himself as Gil Grissom. Gillian smacked her lips and reminded him that they already knew who he was, while Gil offered Grissom his hand for a firm shake.

Introductions complete, the conversation flowed as if they had known him all of their lives. Gillian talked animatedly while Gil quietly sized Grissom up, commenting occasionally. They were amazing.

Grissom sighed sadly as he thought of all that he must have missed from birth until the present. There was nothing he could do about that now. However, he would make sure that he would always be in their lives. Which was why he supposed he was here now, in Sara's home for the first time.

She said she wanted to talk, to explain, so here he was. Grissom sat mutely on the bar stool staring into a cup of coffee that had appeared in his hands.

"Grissom, I don't know what to say."

"I don't see how _that's_ possible. You seemed to have left a few things out since your return." _Into my life_. He finished in his head.

"Grissom, I didn't know that I was pregnant when I left. Maybe if I had known-."

"No maybes, Sara. You didn't tell me."

"No, I did not. The circumstances-."

"What circumstances? I asked you to marry me. I accepted a position at the University to be with you. Would it have been a far stretch to expect a family?" His voice cracked with emotion.

Sara bowed her head.

"Sara." Grissom started. He was doing a poor job of wading through the pain and he needed to hear what she had to say. "I'm sorry. Please continue."

"When I left Boston. I went home for a while -the remainder of the semester. I took courses at the community college during my pregnancy. After the twins were born, I did external studies through Harvard and went back to graduate."

"Sounds like it was pretty tough. How did you manage?"

"Mom and Dad helped a lot."

"You changed your major."

"Modified it actually. It all worked out in the end. I was able to get a job right away."

"I'm proud of you. Not many people can balance newborns and finish school on time. I wish that I would have been there to help you."

"I'm sorry, Grissom. I never meant to hurt you."

Grissom winced at her words. She did not mean to hurt him but it was exactly what she had been doing since the day she walked out and then back into his life. Anger and frustration colored his face as he thought of their lovemaking the day before. They lay together in his bed, speaking words of forgiveness and love and she never bothered to mention that they shared children. How could he ever trust her?

Silence hung in the air while both sorted through their feelings. More guilt washed over Sara as she wondered how she could repair the damage done.

"Grissom..."

"Not now, Sara. I'm not ready to discuss us just yet. Our focus must be on the children. Tell me about Gil and Gillian. Tell me everything, starting with when you found out you were pregnant."

Sara weighed his words. He was right, there was too much to sort through now. Their personal business would have to wait. "Would you like to see pictures?" She asked excited to share the experience.

"I would love to."


	6. Chapter Six

Stay

Chapter Six

****

Sara's Apartment…

"These were taken right after their fourth birthday. I took them to the San Diego Zoo. Look, here's Gillian next to the Hissing Cockroaches…those are her favorite…"

Grissom looked on in amazement. Sara was so calm as she narrated Gil and Gillian's young lives through photographs. Like it wasn't a big deal that he missed it all…as if everything was perfectly okay. And they called _him_ a robot? Who the hell was this woman?

"This was Gillian's first year as a Girl Scout. She earned every badge available…"

The majority of the pictures where only of the children, very few with Sara included. As much as Grissom was enjoying the journey, he still had to taper down his moments of anger. He was angry because his own image was glaringly, purposefully, permanently and obviously absent from the first seven years of their existence. More than once he felt the urge to shout that he would have been there if he had known. Precious time gone.

"Gil won second place at this Science fair...made electricity flow through…"

Both children favored the sciences. It was a comforting thought, but did nothing to fill the substantial pit of despair threatening to overwhelm him.

He should be happy. The children were perfect, but the loss of time and trust of the woman that held his heart was weighing him down.

He had so many dreams back in Boston of what his life with Sara would be like. Their wedding. First home. Sara's belly swollen with their children. Unfortunately, there would never be any family photos for their first Christmas. He'd missed it all. _No. _He was never given the opportunity to participate.

And now the children were seven, (seven and a half, Gillian had corrected him), soon to be eight years old and Grissom didn't know them. A stranger to his own children. Nothing but a glossy eight by ten snapshot on their nightstands. The reality made him want to cry.

"Mom took this one last summer…"

Finally, unable to stand the carnival of emotions circling the perimeters of his brain, Grissom abruptly stood sending loose photographs flying. "I can't so this!"

"Grissom? What's wrong?"

"I uh, I need to go." He stammered and began to pace wildly.

"You can't."

"I know, I can't do this."

"You can't leave yet, Gil. The children, you told them you'd be here when they returned." Sara reminded him.

Damn! Grissom realized Sara was right. He _had_ given his word. As much as he wanted to bolt and leave this alternative universe behind, he would not break his promise.

Sara held her breath as Grissom took several unsteady steps towards the front door, then turned and walked into the kitchen. "Grissom? What's going on? Are you feeling okay?"

_No. _Grissom screamed in his head, keeping his back to Sara as he frantically searched the cupboards for a glass. _I am not feeling okay. I feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown while I sit here looking at pictures of my children's lives, like they are vacation snapshots. How could I possibly be okay when the only woman I have ever loved dumped me without a word eight years ago, came back unexpectedly and ruthlessly seduces me, while never bothering to mention that I fathered two children with her? _

I feel like my fucking head is going to explode.

Finally he turned around and answered. "I assure you Sara; the last thing I am right now is okay."

Any further conversation was interrupted as Sara's mother and the children arrived.

****

Grissom's home later…

Exhausted mentally, Grissom plopped down onto the couch feeling every one of his years of life.

His mini-breakdown at Sara's ended beautifully as he spent time with Gil and Gillian. He wrestled, played with cars and actions figures as well as attended a lecture on the reproduction process of fire ants seated along with Barbie and several stuffed animals.

As the sun settled in Las Vegas and Sara bathed the children, Grissom managed to assemble two twin sized beds and arrange the bedroom furniture. Though the apartment allowed for individual rooms, neither child was interested in separating. Once settled for the night, Grissom read chapters from The Secret Lives of Caterpillars, until they fell asleep.

He left the apartment without much communication with Sara. The focus had to be on the children, their personal issues had to wait.

Relieved to be home, no sooner than his head touched the back of the couch, the doorbell rang. Grissom swung the front door open to reveal Jim Brass bearing gifts.

"I hear you had a busy day."


	7. Chapter Seven

Stay

Chapter Seven

Grissom's Home…

A respectfully aged bottle of Scotch sat three fourths empty before Grissom finished his story.

"Damn. I always knew you got burnt, but…Damn!"

"Very articulate, Jim." The police captain only snorted in response.

The two men sat in silence, each lost in thought.

"Twins, huh?"

"Yes. Gilbert and Gillian. I never thought too seriously about having kids. Not after Sara left me…Didn't think it would happen. There like these two perfect little people…Gillian, she's the oldest. She has my eyes and my love of insects or anything crawling for that matter. Smart as a whip and looks out for her baby brother.

Gil, he looks like Sara, but he's me all over again at that age.Painfully shy. But don't let that fool you - nothing gets by my son. Always asking questions. Though, he hasn't said much to me - personal wise. But Gillian, she can talk a mile a minute - not sure where she gets that from- maybe their grandmother. That woman's mouth is always going."

Brass listened to Grissom's alcohol induced, fragmented monologue that jumped from one subject to another. He sifted through words patiently waiting for the specific topic of interest that brought him to the scientist's home.

"Now Sara…" Grissom continued.

There it was. Brass leaned forward, all ears and ready to absorb.

"She's beautiful…"

"She _is_ a looker." Grissom shot Brass a death glare. "Hey! Just stating the obvious!"

Grissom leaned back to gather his thoughts. "She's just as beautiful now as she was back in college, 'cept, her body's all grown up.. You know like her breasts are fuller - probably from the babies…I wonder if she breast fed? You know, studies show that children who are breast fed have a stronger bond with the mother. Also, the woman's body heals twice as fast. The natural consumption of the Mother's -"

"I get it - she's stacked! Move on Einstein."

Jim wanted to - no needed to hear more about the woman who had gotten through Gil Grissom's barriers. Had gone where no man or woman had gone before. Brass had missed Sara's sudden reappearance. He had also missed out on the 'Grissom found out he was a daddy, along with a dozen or so witnesses at the front reception desk' incident. Major loss there.

Enduring Grissom's difficult personality and cynicism for the better part of twenty years, earned the captain, in his opinion, the right to first hand details.

And so, he listened intently as the other man's usually guarded words flowed freely like the last ounce of Scotch that spilled easily down the neck of the upturned bottle.

"So, what now? You've got an instant family. You gonna be there for them?"

"Of course! I gladly accept my responsibility."

"What about Sara?"

"Sara." Grissom let the name roll around in his fogged brain a few times. "I like her."

"You like her?" Jim repeated in disbelief. "I like drunken stupors, but I've learned to do without. Are you willing to live your life without Sara at your side?"

"We have the children."

"That would leave you half empty, Gil. Think about the whole picture."

Jim could practically hear the wheels turning in his friend's head.

"I want Sara."

"Ding! Ding! Ding! Give that man a prize!"

"Shut up!"

"Well, mi compadre. My work is done here. Good luck winning back Sara." _Though that shouldn't be too difficult_. He mumbled under his breath.

****

Several days later…

Grissom looked up to find Sara perched at his door.

"Sara?"

"May I come in?"

"Of course."

His eyes tracked her as she closed the door and took a nervous seat opposite of him.

"Anything the matter?"

"Uh - no. Will you be stopping by this evening?"

"Yes."

Grissom had made a routine of spending each evening with the twins before bedtime. During this time, he answered endless questions about himself, bugs, anything and everything that entered their inquisitive minds. It was their bonding time and he treasured it immensely.

"Okay, good. So, you can say goodbye."

"Pardon me? Did you say _goodbye_?"

"Um, yeah. Mom will be taking them back home the day after tomorrow."

"But they live here now. The children's home is here." Grissom sputtered in disbelief.

"Grissom-"

"You can't take them away from me!"

"_Grissom_-"

"What kind of game is this? Why didn't you bother to mention before that this set up was only temporary? I can't believe this!"

"Grissom, calm down. I -"

"I've only had days with my children. _Days_, Sara. It hasn't even been a week. There's no way in hell you're sending Gil and Gillian away from here!"

"I'm not taking them away from you. They have to go back to school Monday."

"They can go to school here. A transfer wouldn't-"

"School is almost over, Grissom. Let them finish the remaining two months-"

"Two months! That's out of the question. It's too long. They'll transfer to Las Vegas; I live in a pretty good school district."

Sara sighed heavily. "Grissom, Gillian and Gil will be back here to live permanently when school is finished. I won't disrupt their lives or their education for…" She drifted off.

"For me." Grissom finished for her. "You won't disrupt their lives for me. Well, excuse me if I'm feeling a little separation anxiety here. It wasn't my choice to be absent from their entire lives."

"Grissom."

Grissom held up his hand to halt her speech. "Is there anything else?"

Sara paused to study the man before her, surprised that he gave in so quickly. She didn't know if she should be relieved or worried. "No, that's all. I'll, uh, see you tonight."

Once Sara closed the door quietly behind her, Grissom flipped open his rolodex and pulled out the business card for his attorney.


	8. Chapter Eight

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! It helps with the direction of the story.

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Chapter Eight

****

Local Diner…

"Is she a bad mother?" Attorney Andrew Graham questioned Grissom.

"No. I mean, I've only been around Sara with the children for less than a week, but I have no doubt of her commitment and love for Gil and Gillian. She's wonderful with them."

"Is she a drug addict or an alcoholic?"

"_No_."

"Promiscuous?"

"No, of course not."

"Not of course not, Gil. I need more to go on. We need to find her weaknesses."

Grissom frowned. "I don't like this."

"Is she a thief? A fire starter? Runs with scissors or likes to play with matches?"

"This is ridiculous! What does this have to do with custody?"

Andrew sat back and studied his client. Perhaps, this did not have to be a nasty one. He'd had too many of those cases lately. "What exactly do you want to happen?" He changed tactics.

"I want joint custody of my children and I want them here in Vegas."

"Didn't Sara tell you that they were moving here permanently?"

"Damn it! Their grandmother's leaving with them on tomorrow." Grissom was irritated and feeling desperate. He could almost feel the children slipping away and it scared him.

"Okay, calm down. I'll file an injunction, but the courts tend to get testy with these things. I doubt it would help your case since their mother secured employment and has a home in Vegas. Reason leads to believe that her intentions are to move the children here. The joint custody, however, shouldn't be a problem.

Gil, I know this may be uncomfortable for you, but I need to know why Sara left all those years ago."

"Why?"

"To determine if her disappearance could reoccur."

Grissom pondered the question. "There was someone else." He shared with a shrug.

"Do you know who it was?"

"No. A younger guy. I didn't need to know anything else and neither do you."

"Have you considered the possibility that these may not be your children? We may want to order a paternity test before we go any further-"

"I don't need a damned paternity test." Grissom leaned forward as his indignation rang through loud and clear.

"Whoa! Just asking. If you are satisfied that Sara is telling the truth…"

Grissom scowled, then hastily retrieved two school photos of each child and slammed them on top of the table.

The younger man could not stop the blush that rose as he studied the photographs.

"Okay. Guess I can cross that off of my list. Moving on…"

****

CSI Lab…

"Has anyone seen Grissom?" Catherine called into the break room where Nick, Warrick and Greg where playing a video football game.

"Gone." Warrick tossed over his shoulder without breaking his concentration.

"Gone? Gone _where_? There's still another half an hour of shift left. Did he get called out on a case?"

"Boys!" She yelled when her inquiries went unanswered.

"Ma'am?" They chorused.

"Where the hell is Grissom?"

"I don't know." Warrick shrugged. "I think he was meeting someone for breakfast."

"Ooooohhh. Grissom ditched work to go on a date." Greg teased.

Catherine rolled her eyes. The boys where not helpful. She was heading back to Grissom's office when she spotted Sara and the Director in an intense conversation. She stared openly while the exchange continued and ended several minutes later with Sara walking away miffed.

****

In the locker room…

"Sara? Everything okay?" Catherine had waited ten minutes before following Sara, allowing the younger woman to regain her composure. Curiosity would not permit her to wait a minute longer.

"Uh, yes. Why do you ask?" Sara returned suspiciously.

It's not like they were bosom buddies or anything. Though, to be fair, Catherine had not interfered with her tenuous relationship with Grissom either. No one had…until now.

"I saw you with Carvello. You seemed…_upset_."

"Oh, no. Not upset." _More like nauseated_. "I'm fine."

Catherine's brow furrowed. She learned something new today - Sara was a terrible liar.

"Unless you royally screwed up in some way that I am not aware of, annual review is the only reason we get sent to the Director's Office."

Sara knew Catherine was not so subtly fishing. She didn't want to outright lie; there was enough of that already, so she did the next best thing.

"No review. But he was inquiring into how well I'm adapting." She told a half truth.

Catherine couldn't tell if Sara was being upfront but her coworker's answer did not sit well with her. Meeting Sara's gaze, Catherine continued on. "You and Grissom seem to be getting along."

"Um, hmm." _Up until today_. "The children love spending time with their father."

"How _are_ the twins?" Everyone had mutually decided to give the new family a little space. "Lindsey's been asking after them constantly. Maybe we can arrange a play date?"

"Actually, they're leaving tomorrow."

"Leaving where?"

"Las Vegas. They have to go back to school on Monday."

"Does Grissom know?" Catherine sputtered in disbelief.

"Of course, Grissom knows." Sara was starting to get irritated. She already felt guilty from breaking the same news to Grissom earlier. "I would never just leave without Grissom knowing."

The words were out of Sara's mouth before she could stop them. She was surprised Catherine didn't laugh in her face instead; the blond raised an arched eyebrow that clearly read 'you did it before.'

"All right Sara. Give the kids a hug for me and maybe they can call Lindsey sometimes."

That was it? Sara expected more than that Grissom's best friend. A few sharp words or at least a disapproving glare - but nothing. Nothing but acceptance from both Grissom and Catherine. This only fueled Sara's increasing anxiety and paranoia.

"They'll be back for good when school gets out." Sara threw out, almost desperate for a less passive response.

"I'm sure Grissom well be pleased."

Catherine exited the locker room on a mission.

****

Local Diner…

Andrew leaned back to study his client and longtime friend of the family. He had taken over as Grissom's attorney when his father retired several years before. "Dad says to tell you hello."

"How _is _your father doing? I haven't been a good friend these days." Grissom inquired, happy for the distraction from discussing his personal life. "The postcard was interesting."

"He's doing as well as can be expected for his age." Andrew chuckled.

It was an ongoing joke for anyone that knew Harold Graham. The eighty four year old had recently remarried and was currently traveling the globe with his new bride. Harry had taught several basic law courses Grissom took during his undergraduate years. They had been friends ever since.

"Let me be honest, Gil." Andrew's voice brought Grissom back from his temporary mental reprieve. "Sara sounds legitimate. I could go ahead and file, keep the kids in state, but - it would be ugly. I'm advising that you hold off on that sort of legal action. There's no judge in the world that would deny you joint custody.

For now, go home to your children, say goodbye - _for now_, and let them finish school. You said Sara took a permanent position, she'll bring them back."

, go home to your children, say goodbye - , and let them finish school. You said Sara took a permanent position, she'll bring them back." 

"You hold a great deal of confidence in a woman you've never met. Are you sure?"

"She's gone through great pains to ensure it. When you get past the anger, you'll see it too."

"And if she proves us wrong?" Grissom posed.

"Dr. Grissom, I live for the ugly battles." His voice turned low and fierce. "I prepared the paperwork for this matter after our initial conversation. I'll do what it takes to guarantee our success."

Andrew's sudden change in demeanor sent a chill down Grissom's spine. This was not what he had in mind.


	9. Chapter Nine

This was difficult for me to write. But I think it turned out okay - a little wordy but okay. Thanks for the reviews and please, keep reviewing. You have no idea how your reviews help me through writer's block at times. Don't own CSI and all that. But, I will we the proud owner of the CSI Season Five DVD at the end of the month.

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Chapter Nine

Grissom's Townhouse…

"Where have you been? I've been looking for you all morning _and_ you turned off your cell."

"Good afternoon to you too, Catherine." Grissom returned, not bothering to hide his irritation. His patience was well worn after meeting with his attorney, but he figured he should at least return one of several missed calls.

"Whatever. Where are you? You disappeared from work."

"Currently, I'm sitting in my driveway." He paused long enough to turn down the volume on the phone. "I had a meeting this morning. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Don't get all prissy with me. A note or page would have sufficed. Anyway, have you seen the Director lately?"

"Briefly yesterday, why?"

"Has he said anything to you about Sara?"

"No." Grissom massaged his temples in an effort to preempt the headache he knew would accompany this conversation.

"Don't you think it's odd that Carvello hasn't confronted you about your relationship with Sara?"

"I suppose, though confront, would not be the term I would use. I'm sure he'll get around to it."

"I don't like it. He knows you two have a past and hasn't said a word. Something's not right."

"_Catherine_," He pinched the bridge of his nose, another countermeasure to ward off the onset of a migraine "It's not like I'm hiding my relationship with Sara or the children. I'll hear from him soon enough. Besides, he's the one that hired her, obviously the Director didn't do his homework."

"_Maybe_. On the other hand, it's not like Sara's been very forthcoming with the truth. We both know that she can keep a secret."

"Is there a point to this conversation?" Grissom spat defensively. He was in no mood to justify Sara's actions. Actions that he had yet to comprehend himself.

"The _point_, is that the Director was standing in the hallway along with you and everyone else that day. Wake up Gil! When the shit hits the fan, you are the only one with everything to loose. You need to confront Carvello so this isn't hanging over your head. Your relationship with Sara isn't expressly forbidden in the Policies but isn't exactly ethical for obviously reasons. He may try to use this to manipulate Sara. Not dealing with _it_ won't make _it_ go away!" Catherine took a deep breath to calm herself. "Look, I'm just trying to look out for you. Sara's a great CSI and I trust her to watch my back in the field but that's where it ends. There's more to her sudden reappearance and I don't think she's a woman you should completely trust. And I just plain don't trust Carvello."

Catherine's words, however true, stung and left Grissom feeling disappointed and sad. He had hoped that he count on his friend's support concerning Sara.

He wasn't in complete denial or foolish enough to think that this wouldn't all become an issue at some point, but his overtaxed mind could only process so much at a time. Grissom had hoped that he and Sara would have reached some sort of understanding by then. So that when the 'shit hit the fan' as Catherine so eloquently phrased it, his family would be able to present a united front. Presently, they were no where and the twins were still leaving in a few hours.

"Gil," Catherine's voice was softer with worry for her friend.

"I appreciate your concern, Catherine. I do. I will handle it…_Just_…Don't borrow trouble, okay? I'm going to bed." He pressed the end button before she could respond.

Inside, exhausted, Grissom stripped down to his underwear. He needed at least four hours of sleep before he went to say good bye to the children. The beginnings of a migraine flared from the mere thought of his children leaving.

When Grissom closed his eyes, he could still smell the soft vanilla scent from Gillian's brown curls. He could see her bright blue eyes dancing when she laughed and chatted on excitedly about any and everything. Grissom remembered that she preferred to not eat meat and loved the feel of his beard against her cheek. And he could hear his little girl's husky voice, so much like her mother's, urging him to read just one more chapter of her favorite text as she firmly grasped his hand fighting sleep.

Grissom could feel son's ever watchful gaze. Gil was a child of few words who rarely initiated conversation, but spoke volumes with his body language and large expressive eyes. A trait, Grissom knew firsthand, would please his paternal grandmother and prove useful to the non hearing.

When the occasion arose, Gil shyly, almost hesitantly displayed a vast knowledge on any subject that held his interest. Like times when they played with cars or action figures, Gil would describe in great detail the toy's origin and history. A definite stickler for fine details, loved baseball and his favorite color was green.

Both children has a natural curiosity which made learning fun for eager minds. Each shared a passion for reading. Gillian loved reading about animals, the earth and insects - though she had no desire to touch them. She did, however, take to her Daddy's tarantula immediately. Gil on the other hand, did not mind scrounging for bugs, but unlike his father, he was more interested in pinning them down to sketch them than dissecting the creatures.

The twins' personalities where so different and yet they shared an immense closeness. Gil's personality was eerily similar to Grissom's as a child. Intense, would be an accurate description. Comfortable with his own company, the boy could spend hours in contented silence. In contrast of his father, however, Gil welcomed the attention from his protective sister, made friends easily and at times played well with other children. Grissom was pleased with the balance.

Gillian was a wonder. Who knew where her open and carefree personality came from? Certainly not from her mother or father. She sort of reminded Grissom of Catherine. His little fireball talked a mile a minute and asked a questions to the point of exhaustion, but he loved every bit of it.

The impact Gil and Gillian had taken on his life in such a short period of time was immeasurable. They were everything he always wanted but thought he could never have. Grissom's heart ached with the thought of them not being near. How would he survive without his babies?

He still was not sure what he should do concerning any legal action. The inclination to follow his attorney's advice, wait for school to close out, was strong. On the other hand, the selfish and mistrustful part of him was afraid to let them go - _even for a little while._

Sighing heavily, he pulled himself up from the bed and trudged to his office. There was no point in laying down, sleep would not come with his mind racing. He sat down to his computer and logged on to complete a task he should taken care of days ago.

****

Meanwhile at CSI…Director's Office…

"I appreciate your promptness in returning the survey."

"No problem." Catherine responded in kind with a smile.

"Is there anything else I can do for you Ms. Willows?" Carvello knew there would be more. No one voluntarily visited the Director.

"Actually, yes. I wanted to let you know how well CSI Sidle is progressing." She hurried on when it appeared that he would interrupt. "Sara is an energetic and thorough investigator. She's been a great asset to the team. You couldn't have made a better choice."

"Well…thank you, Ms. Willows. I'm happy to hear that Ms. Sidle has adjusted well. I appreciate your candor. However, you are aware that Dr. Grissom is responsible for evaluations?"

"Of course. But I figure it couldn't hurt to hear it from a member of the team."

"Of course. Positive feedback is always good news with a new hire."

"I agree. You were very lucky to find her. Were there…many other applicants?"

The Director was unclear as to where the conversation was heading and that made him uncomfortable. He felt like _he_ was being investigated. "Our lab is number two in the country, Ms. Willows. There were hundreds of applications." He began to drum his fingers impatiently on the desktop. "Ms. Sidle, however, possessed a certain quality that I felt could only enhance and benefit this lab. I've seen her in action. It wasn't a difficult decision."

"So, you knew Sara previously?"

His fingers ceased movement. Catherine eyed his suspiciously.

"I like to familiarize myself with all potential employees. Now, if there isn't anything else?" The Director snapped turning his attention to a stack of papers in front of him.

"No Sir." Catherine frowned at the abrupt dismissal. "Thank you for your time."

She closed the door behind her when he did not respond.

****

Grissom's home…

Glancing at the clock, Grissom knew that his Mother would be on line about this time of day. He was not disappointed when an IM, Instant Message, popped up as soon as he logged on.

Rodin4me: How are you son? It's been three weeks.

BugMan01: I knew you would be on line. First chance I've had, a lot has been going on.

Rodin4me: Like?

Victoria Grissom was always one to get straight to the point.

Bugman01: Remember Sara Sidle?

Rodin4me: Of course, Dear.

Bugman01: She's here in Las Vegas. (Grissom's fingers paused, before pressing send, on the keyboard while he collected his thoughts.)

Rodin4me: Today Gilbert. What about Sara?

Bugman01: She's here in Las Vegas. Sara was hired as a new CSI on my team.

Rodin4me: When? How do you feel about that?

Bugman01: About two months ago. I don't know how I feel.

Rodin4me: Have you spoken on why she left?

His fingers flew over the keys in irritation.

Bugman01: I know why she left, Mother. I don't need a diagram.

Rodin4me: Don't take that tone with me, Gilbert!

Rightfully chastised, Grissom took a deep breath.

Bigman01: Sorry, Mom. I'm just under a lot of stress right now.

Rodin4me: I imagine so. Migraines?

Bugman01: Yes.

Victoria waited patiently for her son to continue.

Bugman01: Mom?

Rodin4me: Yes, Dear. Giving you time to find the words. I'm here when you're ready.

Grissom sat a few minutes more, contemplating how much he wanted to discuss with his mother. Finally, he decided to be completely open. He needed her input and valued her opinion.

Bugman01: Mom?

Rodin4me: Go on.

Bugman01: Sara found out, shortly after she left, that she was pregnant. We have two beautiful children, Gilbert and Gillian. They're perfect, Mom. I love them dearly and I know you will too.

Rodin4me: GRANDCHILDREN? TWINS?

He chuckled out loud at his Mother's words.

Bugman01: Yes, Mom. Finally, grandchildren.

Rodin4me: I can not express how incredibly pleased I am. For a while, I thought your tarantula would be my only grandchild. Phew! I had even considered spending time with that thing. When will I get to meet my grandchildren? Do you have pictures? Scan them now - I can't wait to see them! I bet they are adorable. I'll plan to visit in a few days.

Bugman01: I'll scan the school photos when we are finish here. Hold off on any plans to visit just yet. Sara's mother is taking them back to California tonight.

Rodin4me: I don't understand. You said that Sara is working for you. She lives there in Vegas, does she not? Why are the children leaving? What's going on?

Bugman01: They're going back to finish school.

Rodin4me: And then they'll be returning to you for good?

Bugman01: That's the plan.

Rodin4me: Are you certain that they will return? How do you know that she won't disappear for another eight years?

Grissom flinched at the words. It wasn't anything he hadn't already thought himself, but hearing it from someone else, especially his Mother, bothered him. Was he putting too much trust in Sara? Maybe Catherine was right?

Bugman01: My attorney seems to think that Gil and Gillian will return as promised. What would be the point of bringing them here to meet and develop a bond with me, only to send them away forever?

Rodin4me: I don't know dear. I'm still unclear on why she left from the beginning and why she returned now after all these years. You know Sara, if you say that they will return than I believe you. How are you handling these turn of events? I know that this must be difficult for you.

Bugman01: It's been surprisingly wonderful with the children. I love every minute with them.

Rodin4me: I always knew that you would be a wonderful father, given the chance. I can't tell you how much this means to me. I'm happy for you, Honey. What about Sara? Are you…together?

Grissom read his mother's words several times as he once again contemplated what to convey.

Bugman01: Honestly, I'm not sure what we are.Our focus right now is with the children. I've missed so much of there lives. I'm not sure if I can forgive Sara for that.

Rodin4me: I understand. However, you need to find a way to work it out. The stability of your children are at risk. You know from your own childhood what a bad family environment can do to children.

Bugman01: I have no complaints. You did an extraordinary job raising me.

Rodin4me: Thank you. At times I couldn't help wonder if I were the reason that you closed yourself off emotionally.

Bugman01: I didn't close myself off, Mother. Why does everyone think that I don't feel anything? I feel, Mother. I feel deeply.

Rodin4me: I know that, Gil. Your capacity for love is great. I meant that there is still so much more.

Bugman01: You think I won't be able to open myself up to the children? I'm disappointed, Mother.

Rodin4me: You know damn well that is not what I meant. You are a wonderful father. Of this I am certain. I'm talking about Sara.

Bugman01: What about Sara?

Rodin4me: You have an opportunity to work out your past problems and start fresh. You've been given a second chance. She's not perfect, Gil. No one is.

Bugman01: What makes you think I want a second chance?

Rodin4me: Why have you mourned the loss of the relationship you had with her for so long? Why haven't you found someone else to be with, to marry and start a family?

Bugman01: I don't know how to respond. I don't think I can discuss this right now.

Rodin4me: I understand and respect that, however, you need to discuss it with someone. You're so angry, Gil. You have to let it go.

Buman01: It's not as easy as you make it seem.

Rodin4me: I know you Gil. The scientist in you will never let go of the hurt and betrayal you feel unless you find an explanation. Find your answers quickly or learn to accept the what you already know. Talk to Sara and listen. Listen to Sara, to your heart and to your children. Make peace with your demons before the pain and anger dictates any more of your life.

Grissom mulled over his mother's statement. The truth in her words struck him hard. When had he become such a bitter man? He began to type slowly as his eyes clouded with unshed tears.

Bugman01: I don't know where to start.

Head in hands, he leaned over the keyboard. And for the first time, in his adult life, Grissom cried. He cried for the loss of his Mother's hearing and toll it took on her marriage. He cried for the gaping hole of insecurity created when his Father walked out on them. The strange and disgusted looks from his peers growing up as well as the hurtful words that accompanied them. Grissom sobbed from the pain of a broken heart when the only woman he had ever loved and given himself to completely, cheated on him. The utter loss and betrayal he felt when Sara threw away their love, plans for the future and left him for a younger man. And finally, his continuous flow of tears represented the countless, irreplaceable moments he missed with his children.

Rodin4me: It's moments like these that I miss you the most.

Her words appeared on screen some five or so minutes later.

Reading her words made him cry harder. He too longed for his Mother's comforting touch.

After several more long minutes, Grissom began to type again with shaky fingers.

Bugman01: I miss you too, Mom.

Grissom smiled when his mother sent a smiley face in response.

Rodin4me: What will you do now, Son?

Bugman01: I don't know. I still love her. But, I'm not sure that I can even trust her again. I feel like she's…I don't know.

Rodin4me: Does she love you?

Bugman01: Sara says that she loves me.

Rodin4me: Well, I'd say that's a start. Work it out, Dear. So...GRANDCHILDREN!

Grissom laughed again out loud.

Bugman01: Yes Mom. They can't wait to meet you.

Rodin4me: Then it's settled. I'm moving to Las Vegas.

Bugman01: You're moving to Las Vegas?

Rodin4me: Yes. I need to take care of a few things here first.

Bugman01: Just like that? You're selling your gallery and moving to Las Vegas?

Rodin4me: Is there another language you would like for me to use, Gilbert? I'm moving to be close to my son and grandchildren.

Bugman01: That would nice. The children will love it.

Rodin4me: And you?

There was substantial pause as he tried to find the right words.

Bugman01: It would make my life complete. I love you, Mom.

Rodin4me: I love you too. Now let me go, I can hardly see from the tears. Give a hug and kiss to Gil and Gillian. And don't forget to scan the photos, I've got some bragging to do!

Grissom scanned photos of the twins, e-mailed them to his mother, logged off and headed for the shower, feeling subdued. He pondered his mother's words as showered and dressed. His mother was right. He needed to talk to Sara. Get their issues out of the way. It was the only way to move forward and find peace. He certainly did not want their problems to affect the children.

Snagging his cellular telephone on the way to the kitchen, he hit speed dial number one.

"Hello?"

"Sara, it's Grissom."

"I know. I thought you'd be sleeping. Is…everything alright? You'll be here later won't you?" She questioned nervously.

"I couldn't sleep. And yes, I will be over to see the children."

There was an awkward silence.

"Grissom? Are you okay?"

She heard a heavy sigh before he responded. "No, not really."

"I'm coming over."

"Okay." He whispered to the line that had already gone dead.


	10. Chapter Ten

**A/N: It took several days to post, for some reason, I couldn't download this into Thanks for the reviews! Maybe two chapters left for this one! Of course, I don't own CSI or anything. _But_, if I'm a good girl, and eat all of my vegetables, maybe Santa will bring me Billy for Christmas.**

**Stay**

**Chapter Ten**

_**CSI Human Resources Department…**_

"Dolly! How are you?" Catherine breezed into the small office with her usual flair.

"I'm fine, Catherine. You look stunning as always. How's that sweet child of yours?"

"More like a pre-teen and way more independent that I'd like."

"I know what you mean." The graying woman removed her glasses with a sigh. "They grow up much too fast these days. It seems like just yesterday when my own where in diapers, now my _grand _babies are heading to college soon."

"_Ugh_. Thank God I don't look as old as I feel." Catherine tossed several blond strands for emphasis. "So, I was wondering if you could walk me through the hiring process."

"Oh dear," Dolly's eyes lit up as she leaned forward. "Is this part of an investigation?"

"Actually, yes. You could say that." Though it was a bit of a stretch.

"I've always admired investigators." Dolly started conspiratorially. "We all know that these cases would never be solved without CSIs. If I were thirty years younger, I would be out there myself."

Catherine shook her head in understanding. "I could see that. You have a great eye for detail, Dolly. That's very important for an investigator. Finding key evidence could mean the difference in catching a killer and I'm sure nothing slips past you."

Dolly smiled, accepting the compliment. As the Human Resource Director for the last fifteen years, there was not much that went on at CSI or LVPD that she was unaware of. "Tell me what I can do to help."

"I need to review several recent applications for employment. Including any correspondences and pre interview screenings information."

"Well…That information is confidential."

"I understand. And you understand that anything you and I discuss here is also confidential? I could have the Director call down..."

"Of course, not. Is anyone in trouble?"

"Not at all. Fortunately, I occasionally get a case that's _not_ criminal. As a matter of fact, this is more like a favor for the department." Catherine tried to tone down the web of deceit.

"Oh. It must be time for policy reviews again. You'll find that everything is in order."

"Of that I have no doubt. This won't take long. Let's start with a recent hire...say Sara Sidle?"

_**Grissom's home…**_

"What's going on? You sounded pretty upset on the telephone." Sara questioned as she moved past Grissom into the open doorway.

"You didn't have to come over here. I should be leaving for your place soon. Are the children almost done packing?"

"They're all done. Most of their belongings will stay. Gil's taking several of his new cars and action figures and Gillian is taking stuffed animals. She left the Entomology text on her nightstand so that you can read to her at night."

Grissom chuckled in response. "I communicated with my Mother today."

"Oh?" Sara tensed noticeably. "How is she?"

"Extremely excited about being a grandmother. She'll plan to visit the minute the children return."

"Gil and Gillian will be excited as well."

"Do they…know about her? Did you tell them?"

"That their grandmother is deaf? Of course. We have even learned a few signs."

Grissom stared at Sara in awe. "Thank you. That…means a great deal to me."

"I would very much like for their grandmother to be a part of their lives."

"Very good."

"So, uh? How are you holding up? You look…tired? Did you sleep today? Cause you know that there's not much time before shift and -"

"I'm fine Sara." Interrupting her nervous rambling, he took in her appearance for the first time. She wasn't as calm as she sounded. "Why are you nervous?"

"Sorry. I tend to get a little worked up when I have to leave the children."

"Then why do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Leave the children. I feel…nauseous…and I...I feel like I'm having some sort of breakdown." Grissom replied honestly as he ran shaky fingers through his hair haphazardly. "I don't think I can do this."

"It never gets easier but you do learn how to deal with it better. Their first day of preschool, I cried in the hall for an hour and sat in my car until school was out. Four hours!"

Grissom smiled at the shared memory. "I wish I could have been there."

"I know, I know Gil." Her head dropped in guilt.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"It's okay. Really."

"You know Sara…I realize now that this was why you insisted on having two days off together. If I had known…I never would have made it difficult for you to be with the twins."

"It was tough but we made out okay. When I couldn't get away, Mom would bring them to me."

"They've been here before? To Vegas? This close and I didn't know." Grissom gaped incredulously.

"I'm sorry." Sara said for what seemed like the hundredth time, trying to keep up with his mood swings.

"I'm sorry, Sara. Sometimes, I…it seems as if I will never catch up."

"I did this. It was my decision to…I did this…" Sara choked as another wave of loss and hurt washed over her.

"Come here." Grissom gently pulled Sara into his arms. He wondered briefly if they would ever get past this point. He wanted to get past it. But there was always something. Something more. "I want to trust you, Sara. Can I trust you? This is it, right? They _are _coming back home?"

"Grissom." Sara closed her eyes and swallowed the painful lump in her throat. "Grissom, I love Gil and Gillian more than anything in this world. I would do anything for them, including moving here to Las Vegas to be with their father. They love you so much and have wanted for so long to meet you, to be with you. I…I could never deny them that chance again. I only hope that one day they will forgive me for waiting so long. They need you to be in their lives - _I _need you to be in their lives. They'll leave tonight and we'll miss them terribly. When school is completed, I'll be there myself to bring our babies home. Our home is where you are, Gil. Las Vegas, California, doesn't matter; we'll never be far from you again. You have my word." Sara took a tentative step towards Grissom and ran her fingers lightly through his hair. "I want you to trust me, Gil. Will you trust me?"

His eyes drifted closed as her words sank in and her fingers began to massage the nape of his neck.

"Try Grissom. I never meant to hurt you. I _do_ love you."

Words from earlier drifted back into his head. His Mother was right; he needed to open his heart. "I…I-uh, love you too, Sara."

Sara lifted his chin until their eyes met, then leaned forward and captured his mouth with her own. When their lungs finally protested, each broke away, panting for air. Sara was the first to recover her speech.

"Let's go say goodbye to our children." The promise of something more hung in the air unspoken.

_**Sara's Apartment…**_

"I have something for you, Daddy." Gillian whispered conspiratorially, arms tucked securely behind her back.

"You do? What is it? Is it a grasshopper?"

"No."

"Is it a beetle? A butterfly?" Grissom continued on, inching closer to where she stood.

"No, silly!" She thrust forward a framed recent photograph of Grissom, Sara and the children. "Nana took it. Remember Daddy?"

"I do. It's beautiful." He figured the picture as he recalled the event. They had all gone to the park. Grissom snapped back to the present when he felt a tug on his pants leg. He hoisted his daughter up onto his hip and she snuggled close.

"I didn't want you to forget what we looked like. I love you Daddy."

"I love you too, Sweetheart. And I could never forget how you look."

"Will you call me and read to me every night before I go to bed?"

"I promise to call you everyday. And if your Mother and I aren't too busy catching bad guys, I'll read to you too. How does that sound?"

"Okay." She buried her head into Grissom's shoulder. "I don't want to go."

"Hey, there." He lifted her chin to see her eyes. "Your Mom and I will come to visit you and before you know it, school will be over and you'll be back here to stay."

"Forever, Daddy?" She held his gaze waiting for his answer.

"Forever."

Grissom tried not to get emotional as his little girl placed her hands on either side of his cheeks then bathed his face with tiny kisses. He then passed her on to Sara who waited for her turn with teary eyes.

Grissom turned and found Gil leaning against the doorjamb, watching quietly. "You all ready?"

"Yes, Sir."

Grissom sighed heavily as he led the boy outside. He wondered for the hundredth time if they would grow closer. Not that he was complaining about the progress made. He hadn't expected Gil to take to him as quickly as Gillian had, but he had hoped his son would not still consider him a friendly stranger who played toys with him.

Before ducking into the car, Gil stuck his hand out, which Grissom sadly accepted.

"Goodbye, Gil. I'll see you soon."

However, when he moved to withdraw his hand, his namesake, who rarely initiated physical contact, held onto his father's hand, pulling it until Grissom was almost eye level.

Grissom's eyes, mixed with confusion and hope, met the steady gaze of his son. Gil then released his hand and reached out to hug his father.

"I love you, Dad."

Grissom did cry as he pulled his boy into a tight embrace. "I love you too, Son."

_**CSI Lab…**_

"You're in early."

Warrick's smooth, rich voice startled Catherine from behind during her concentrated search in the computer database.

"Yeah, what can I say?" She quickly clicked the open window closed. "I'm dedicated to the job."

"Uh-hmm. So, since when did Sara's financial records become part of the job?"

Damn, she hadn't been fast enough. "I'm just doing some research - checking out a few things."

"What is this about, Catherine? I thought you liked Sara?"

"I _do_ like Sara. There are just some things that don't add up with her."

"And this is your business, _how_?"

"I'm looking out for Grissom."

"By violating the rights of his…what are they again? Anyway, I'm sure Grissom wouldn't appreciate you snooping around in Sara's business and Sara will _definitely_ be pissed."

"I know, I know."

"I can't tell."

"But what has she been doing all these years?"

"You could always ask her." Warrick suggested.

"You can't tell me you aren't even a little curious?" Ignoring her co-worker's logic.

"It doesn't matter. It's not my business _or yours_! This is wrong on so many levels."

Catherine took a deep breath and changed her tactic. "Don't you want to know if Sara is someone we can trust? I mean, look what she's done to Grissom."

"Let Grissom figure this out for himself." Warrick sighed in frustration when Catherine didn't seem to get it. "Look, Sara's a good CSI, Cath. She knows the job, has a decent personality and I trust her. What has happened or _is_ happening with Grissom, you know, her personal life - is not for me to decipher or judge.

They seem happy - or close to what any of us would consider happy. You've seen Grissom with his kids. You want to mess with that? It's not perfect, but what is?" He rolled his eyes when Catherine did not appear to be affected by his words. "If you look long and hard enough, you'll find flaws in all of us, some more than others.

"Well, excuse me if I haven't been completely taken in by her charms!" Catherine spat defensively. Irritated by Warrick's loyalty to the other woman.

Warrick cocked his head to one side. "I don't even know where you're going with that but be careful, Catherine. You have a lot to loose too. And I'm not just talking about your job, for using government property for personal agendas."

Catherine pursed her lips in thought for several minutes after Warrick's departure, and then turned her attention back to the computer screen to pick up where she left off.

_**Sara's Apartment…**_

An hour later, Grissom was still plenty emotional as he and Sara took a seat in the living room with coffee.

"Mom says she'll call as soon as they get in."

Grissom only nodded in response.

"Shouldn't take more than a couple of hours. They'll probably make it in before we go in to work. Maybe…"

Sara was met with more silence.

"Gil?"

Grissom lifted his eyes to meet hers.

"They'll be fine. We'll speak with them in a few hours."

More silence.

"You know, Mom has her cellular telephone. We could call her _now,_ if you'd like?"

"No." Speaking for the first time. "I -uh. I don't want her searching for the telephone while she's driving."

"Okay." She studied his pale features. "Are you okay, Grissom?"

"Yeah, I. I just didn't think…I didn't know or realize, I guess…" He stammered, placing his cup down on the table with shaky hands.

"What? What didn't you realize?"

"That it would hurt this much…" He was unable to stop the tears from falling.

"Oh, God. Gil..." Sara sat down her own cup and moved close to him. "It'll be okay. They'll be back. I promise. I promise, Honey. They'll be back home, soon." Sara murmured repeatedly as they rocked and cried together.

Grissom tried to believe her words while they stayed wrapped into each other's arms until it was time to leave for work.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**A/N: I know I keep saying that this one is almost over, but it really is. This chapter is more POV. More Grissom and Sara interaction in the next chapter. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Also, I don't own CSI and all that.**

**Stay**

**Chapter Eleven**

Busy Las Vegas criminals left little time for Grissom and Sara to ponder the children's departure any further at the shifts beginning. Cases were assigned and the CSIs left quickly.

In record time, Grissom wrapped up his suicide and settled down in the office for paperwork. There, he tried hard to focus on work, however, his thoughts kept returning to Sara and the children.

His head was screaming for him to proceed with caution when it came to rekindling a relationship with Sara. Deep down, he knew that things were not right. Something was off and be it good or bad, there was more yet to the mystery of Sara Sidle. However, his heart refused to heed the warning and was falling for her all over again.

When Grissom looked into her eyes, he knew that nothing had changed, that he would never have the strength to deny her anything. Although, this time around, there was so much more at stake. His career, but more importantly, the relationship with his children. The children came first, but his desire for Sara ran dangerously deep. He felt as if he were, once again, standing on the ledge of a tall building. Grissom had survived the first fall, he wasn't sure if he could walk away from another.

He sighed heavily and glanced at the metal clock on the office wall. It was well past midnight and he wondered if the children's grandmother read to them before they went to sleep.

Gil usually kept his favorite race car on his nightstand, was it with him in California or did he leave it at home? It bothered Grissom that he did not remember to check. His son said he didn't mind that the room he shared with his sister in Vegas had butterfly borders, yet Grissom had no clue what their other room like. The picture of him that was kept in their bedroom their entire lives now resided in the new home. Should he have given them another for the old room?

Would they miss him?

In Las Vegas, Gillian liked to prepare breakfast, which basically consisted of toasted bagels and juice, for her parents every morning when they returned from work. Grissom looked forward to the brief morning visits before he shuffled to his own home to bed. Who would their daughter prepare breakfast for now?

Will absence make the heart grow fonder or will the twins easily adjust to his absence? They lived their lives without him before…what if they didn't need him as much as he needed them?

Grissom's doubts were in jeopardy of spiraling out of control when he got a call for a DB in the dessert. He was relieved for another distraction.

_**In the truck…**_

Warrick reclined in his seat and prepared for the hour and a half long ride back to Vegas. Though he and Grissom wrapped up the scene fairly quickly and without incident, his boss seemed preoccupied. It was no secret, around the lab, that the children returned to California earlier and since Grissom's preoccupation hadn't affected the evidence collection, Warrick left him alone. "Griss, you mind if a catch a few zzz's? Court kept me up all day."

"Not at all."

Grissom was enjoying the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack when his cellular phone rang. Snatching it up quickly as to not disturb his sleeping friend, he flipped open the device without checking the caller id.

"Grissom."

"Daddy?"

"Jesus!" Startled, Grissom's foot automatically slammed onto the braked, causing the truck to jerk and swivel. He grabbed the steering wheel with both hands, sending his cell phone flying, in an attempt to regain control of the vehicle.

"What the-?" Warrick bolted upright in his seat. He glanced around frantically looking for some disturbance in the road. Finding none, he turned to his supervisor. "What happened?"

"Gillian is on the telephone." Grissom gestured towards Warrick's feet as he tried to calm himself.

"She okay?" He asked concerned, as he retrieved the telephone and handed it to his boss.

"Gillian? Honey, are you okay?" Grissom requested, to answer both of their questions.

"Yes. What happened, Daddy? Did you get into an accident? Are you driving? Cause Mom says that people shouldn't drive and talk on the telephone at the same time unless they have an ear thing or speaker. Do you have an ear thing Daddy?"

"No, Honey. I don't have an earpiece. Sweetheart, why are you calling in the middle of the night? Does your Nana know that you're calling when you should be sleeping?"

There was a long pause, so long that Grissom risked a glance at the LCD screen to make sure that signal had not been lost. "Gillian?"

"I'm sorry, Daddy. Are you mad at me?"

The tremble in his little girl's voice broke his heart. It hurt him even more to know that he put it there. This only served as a reminder of how little experience he had with children.

"No, I'm not mad at you, Sweetheart. It was just…" Grissom paused trying to lower his pulse rate. "A surprise - a very _nice_ surprise to hear from you, but I thought that maybe something was wrong at home. I- I just wanted to make sure that you weren't hurt, that you and Gil were okay."

"Oh." She replied, accepting the explanation. "Gilbert is sleeping. He _always _falls asleep when I'm talking to him at night and I like the night so do you think that I can work at night too like you and Mommy when I grow up?"

Grissom began to relax as he listened to Gillian chat on relentlessly, obviously over his over reaction. From his peripheral vision, he could see Warrick settle back down.

Meanwhile, Warrick had never seen his boss so flustered. He watched silently as his boss tried to calm himself. Obviously, his daughter's call alarmed him. Rightfully so, it being in the middle of the night when most children would be sleeping.

But this wasn't just any child. She was a product of Grissom and Sara. He hadn't known Sara long but he learned enough to know that she and Grissom were frighteningly similar in personality as well as intelligence. The combined gene pool alone guaranteed uniqueness.

It was amazing how Grissom had immediately taken to the children. After the initial shock wore off, Grissom fell hard and fast for the miniature versions of Sara and himself - _all_ of CSI had.

The twins were curious, articulate and very smart for their age- but who would expect anything less from Grissom and Sara?

Warrick had wondered, as well as worried that Grissom would always be alone. He had wondered why his boss had never married and started a family of his own. Granted, the man was truly dedicated to his work, he would never be accused of being a people person, but deep down, Warrick always felt that there was more to the mystery, to the mystique of Gil Grissom.

Grissom always had been a great father figure- he just hadn't realized it. He had taken Warrick under his wing and trusted him when no one else had bothered. The way he mentored Warrick, astonished the younger man. He became the father that he had never had as well as a friend. The patience Grissom showed for Nick and the way he reined in Greg in when needed or praised him when it was unexpected, did not go unnoticed or unappreciated. He was a best friend to Catherine. No one could handle or settle her down like he could and he was a best buddy to their former boss.

Grissom was the glue of the nightshift without even trying. His children would only benefit from the compassion that came naturally.

And now Warrick knew what the mystery was. Grissom's heart had long ago been stolen and broken by a brainy beauty years before. Not that he would ever divulge such personal information, but Warrick knew the remnants of a broken heart. He had never seen the older man exhibit emotions he had in the last several weeks.

Sara Sidle had waltzed into CSI and turned the nightshift supervisor's life upside down. It had become instantly clear, that whatever the two shared long ago was very much still alive and wrecking havoc on Grissom's life. Warrick watched as the older man tried to resist the pull of Sara; however, the remaining mutual attraction was obvious. Besides, Grissom had never even remotely shown an interest in another woman and Sara seemed perfect.

While Warrick secretly hoped that they would reconcile, he could not help but wonder about the woman that invaded Grissom's soul. Speculate on what could have between them that hurt him so severely that he shied away from emotional commitments and held everyone at arms length - almost everyone.

During the first few weeks of Sara's arrival, he began to second guess his initial hope until they seemed to begin to work it out. Warrick suspected they had begun seeing one another again.

Of course, he was curious as hell about what brought Sara to Grissom - they all were. But it plain just wasn't any of his business. He accepted that he may never know what transpired between the two in the past but he knew that Sara was a hell of a CSI and seemed to genuinely care about Grissom. That was enough for him.

Once again, the possible fairytale, happily ever after scenario began to re emerge. Sara seemed to be a dedicated mother and Grissom, always a quick study, was catching on at warp speed.

He was every bit the nervous new father - though the twins were hardly newborns. Warrick got a kick out of seeing Grissom interact with them. Like now, he was learning and Warrick's heart swelled with pride with each attempt. Grissom was an excellent father. Even though he didn't know it. He had been all along.

Which was why Warrick didn't understand what Catherine was doing? In this day and age, you have to find happiness where you can get it - why was Catherine so against Sara, Grissom and the children's chance at happiness?

He wouldn't let anyone disrupt Grissom's happiness- not even Catherine. Lord knows the man had waited long enough for it.

"Are you listening, Daddy?"

"Yes, of course I'm listening." Grissom assured his little girl.

"So, when will you be bringing the cockroaches here? Remember, I wanted you to race them for the talent show. And I forgot my flashlight at the new house but that's okay because you can bring it when you bring the roaches. And did I tell you-"

"Honey, I have to work on Friday. I won't be able to make it in time for your talent show, but your Mother might…"

Warrick could hear the disappointment in Grissom's voice. Since the children's arrival in Vegas, Grissom had spent every available minute with them. Trying to make up for time lost, Warrick supposed. That would be difficult now with them back in California. Unless…

"And Tommy S. said that girls shouldn't play football and I told him that we can and then Sarah J. said…"

Grissom glanced over to Warrick to signal that all was well as he ooh'd and aah'd appropriately as Gillian filled him in on her day.

Relieved, Warrick once again reclined back into his seat as a plan began to formulate in his head.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Stay**

**Chapter Twelve**

_**CSI Lab…**_

"I got a call from Gillian tonight." Grissom informed Sara as he guided her to his office out of earshot.

"You did? Is…everything okay?"

"Yes." He chuckled. "Although, I have to admit that, her call in the middle of the night almost gave me a coronary."

Sara smiled in return. Her first late night call from their daughter made her heart patient material also. "Gillian is a night owl."

"Apparently. She also wants to know if she could work the graveyard shift when she gets older."

"Certainly not the usual child aspirations."

Grissom nodded in agreement. "So, you'll be able to make the talent show on Friday?"

"Yes." Sara confirmed. "I'll leave right after shift."

"Good. If things are slow, you could head out a little early. I'll pack the roaches and bring them in Thursday night."

"_Ugh_. I forgot about the roaches."

"Are you sure you'll be comfortable handling them?" Not in the least put off by her reaction. He knew that his pets took some getting used to.

"Of course."

"Because Madagascar cockroaches are-"

"They'll be fine." She interrupted the oncoming lecture. "Don't worry. Besides, she'll only need a couple, right?"

"I suppose a couple will do since she won't be racing them."

"Whatever happened to bringing in pictures of your dog, favorite doll or something less…" She paused searching for a word.

"Unpleasant?"

"I was going to say creepy, but that works."

_**Locker room…**_

"So, are you in or not?" Warrick was loosing patience with Catherine. He had a plan to help Grissom and Sara spend more time with their children but he needed the remaining CSI's participation. Nick jumped at the opportunity to help, while Catherine had been reluctant.

"I don't know Warrick. I- uh, I don't want to interfere."

"Since when? You've been digging all in their business since Sara got here. All of a sudden now, you hesitate? What's up with that?"

"Nothing's _up_."

"Then you're in?" He pushed.

"I wish you'd make up your damn mind!" Catherine snapped. "One minute you're chastising me for checking Sara out and in the next you are asking me to go behind Gil's back. What makes _your _motives any better than mine?"

"Spare me the drama, Catherine. You know there's a _major _difference in our motives. I'm trying to give them the opportunity to be a family while you're trying to destroy it."

"Who's being dramatic now, Warrick?"

Catherine was frustrated. The truth was so close she could smell it. But until she had hard evidence, she was working on gut instinct. She wasn't just being a super bitch or jealous friend, she was genuinely concerned about Grissom.

Fact was, things were not right with Sara. Of course, she wanted the woman to check out all right. Of course, she wanted Grissom to be happy and enjoy his life with his children. But didn't she have an obligation to look out for him when he was too blinded by the possibility of a fairy tale ending? Unlike Grissom, Catherine wanted the truth. Grissom told her long ago that he never told _her_ the truth about Eddie because it wasn't his business. Well, as a friend, it _was_ her business. It was her job to look out for him when he couldn't do that for himself.

No one had witnessed the state he returned to Vegas in all those years ago. The guys would never understand how much it broke her heart to see the strongest man she had ever known reduced to nothing. It took years to get him back to the point where he was actually living instead of merely existing. Only to have her come back.

She had hoped that the woman that had killed Grissom's spirit had fallen off of the face of the earth or at least had the decency to contract some terribly painful, disfiguring disease. But no, she waltzes right back into his life and picks up like nothing's wrong. What kind of monster would do that? _And_ she kept his children a secret. If this had been a case file, her co workers would be working just as hard beside her to find the answers.

"When are you going to drop this?" Warrick questioned wearily.

"What if I'm right? What if I'm right about Sara and we're handing her Gil's heart on a silver platter?"

"She's done nothing to you, Cath. Sara's here everyday putting the bad guys away for a living - _just like us_. At the same time, she is trying to get her family together. I would _think _you could relate on how difficult that must be. _Undeniably_, there must be issues there, but let _them_ work it out. If there's something Sara's hiding, let her be the one to tell him or let Grissom find out on his own. You won't win any points for being the one to crack this case, Catherine."

"We'll see."

Warrick rubbed a hand over his face in frustration, then glanced up suddenly. "Cath, _please_ tell me that you are notstill investigating Sara." His mouth dropped open when Catherine's eyes shifted guiltily to the floor. "I can't believe you. You know it's only a matter of time before she finds out. It's not your business! God, it's like…I don't even know you anymore."

"You know me Warrick. I'm the one that would do the same for you if I thought that someone was trying to hurt you. Don't make this a 'thing' between _us_." Acknowledging out loud, for the first time, that there was actually something building between them.

Warrick snorted in disgust. "_Us_, is the least of your worries right now. If you keep this going, you're going to loose your best friend." He warned moving towards the doorway. "Let me know what you decide before assignments."

"Yeah." Catherine finally answered well after the room was empty.

Maybe Warrick was right. She silently pondered. Grissom certainly had not appreciated her appointing herself his personal savior, thus far. She needed to take a step back before she lost all objectivity. Catherine was never one to give up on a fight, but she also knew when, on most occasions, to let things go. _At least temporarily_. If something was there, it would surface sooner or later. Whatever it was, _it_ was not worth losing both men in her life.

_**A little while later…Conference Room…**_

"It's been my understanding that the _supervisor_ calls the meetings in this lab." Grissom complained as he entered the Conference Room after receiving the request on his pager.

There, Warrick, Catherine, Nick, Greg and Sara were already gathered at the table . He frowned while racking his memory. Was it someone's birthday or had he forgotten evaluations again? "What's going on?"

"Don't look at me." Sara shrugged. "I was also summoned."

"Well, we came up with a solution to your problem." Nick motioned between Sara and Grissom.

"We have a problem?" Sara asked, her confused expression matched Grissom's.

"Yes. So, here's what we came up with. This…" Catherine passed out several sheets of paper around the table. "Is a revised work schedule, effective immediately."

"Last time _I_ checked, the _supervisor_ made the work schedules." Grissom grumbled again.

"Stop your bellyaching, Gil." She fussed, catching Warrick's approving glance. "This is for your own good."

"Hold on, since when do I get every other weekend off?" Sara wanted to know as she perused the new assignments.

"Since now." Warrick answered for the group. "You've got about six or seven weeks before the kids are done with school and moving here, right?"

"That's the plan." Sara confirmed.

"So, we're going to cover the weekends for you both until then."

Grissom and Sara where speechless. The gesture was overwhelming.

"I don't know what to say." Grissom was the first to finally speak.

"I'll second that." Sara nodded. "I can't believe you guys are willing to give up your weekends for us."

"For you _and_ the twins." Catherine clarified.

"You deserve it. _And_, you'll owe us big time once the munchkins come home." Nick added.

"Well, thank you." Sara was still mildly astonished. "We both appreciate this."

"Yes." Grissom affirmed with a nod.

"You're both welcome. Uh - Gil," Catherine turned to face him. "You'll have to be on call though. In case of an emergency or an Entomological consult."

"No problem. _Now_, if it's okay with you all, let's pretend that _I'm_ in charge so that we can review our cases and go home."

Sara eyed Grissom with a wide smile when the room cleared later.

"What?"

"We can both make it to Show and Tell."

"Yes."

"_And,_ we can spend the weekend as a family."

"A family." Grissom repeated as he weighed and tested the unfamiliar word on his tongue. "Yes. I'd like that."

"Good. Let's call Gil and Gillian."


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Stay**

**Chapter Thirteen**

"It's nice to know that our daughter isn't the only child with…" Sara mused.

"Eclectic taste?" Grissom supplied with a chuckle.

"I was going to say weird but that works. Gilbert's class is having a talent show next month."

"Does he have a talent?"

"Does having a near photographic memory count?"

"Hmm. Maybe he could take my tarantula. I could teach him to do a trick."

"Well, you'll definitely be transporting _that_. There's no way I'm touching that thing!"

Grissom carefully packed several of his cockroaches and the two headed west shift's end, making it to California in good time.

They made straight for the school off of the highway, in plenty of time before the show. Gillian pulled off her stunt without a hitch. Afterwards, Sara and Grissom were able to share lunch with Gillian and Gil. It was perfect.

Bidding the children farewell, with promises to see them when school was done for the day, Sara took over driving, taking the scenic route to her home.

_**Sara's California residence…**_

Sara's modest two story home wasn't anything like he'd imagined. Not that he had much of a reference. The Las Vegas residence was still a work in progress while the California house was very much a home.

The living and dining rooms consisted of earthy tones that was inviting as well as soothing. The furniture was overstuffed, deep blues and burgundies (stain resistant he was sure) and looked completely comfortable, while the kitchen was open and contained all of the modern gadgets you could imagine.

Photographs, some of which she had shared with him in Vegas, lined the mantel, describing each phase and every significant event in their lives. He moved on as he felt the familiar pang of sadness and a flash of anger return - a constant reminder of time lost. However, the feeling was quickly replaced with pride as he fingered the trophies and ribbons displayed on a corner shelf.

The children's rooms were splashed with bright primary colors and filled with an undeterminable amount of toys.

Grissom was taken aback when he discovered several photos of himself and a few with Sara taken during their time together at Harvard, on the children's nightstands. He had to admit, save for the gray hair and some additional weight, he had not changed much. It was no wonder Gillian recognized him effortlessly.

He fingered the picture of him and Sara at a carnival. They had taken a photo in a small booth. The picture had been enlarged and framed.

"That's Gil's favorite."

Grissom started at Sara's voice, he was lost in the sweet memory. He replaced the picture and turned to face her.

He didn't have to say anything, his disappointment, frustration and anger was written all over his face. Sara briefly wondered if there would ever come a time when he didn't hate her. "Mom's taking the children for dinner and a movie - if that's okay with you." She amended quickly. She would have to get used to sharing decision making.

The time before the twins returned home from school was spent in awkward silence as each unpacked their belongings. The children arrived home later in a flurry of activity but settled quickly into the routine that had been established well before Sara's move to Vegas.

"Gillian, you need to finish getting ready for the movie." She reminded her daughter after patiently listening to her describe her classmate's Show and Tell subjects. "Nana's waiting for you."

"I _am _ready."

"No you are not, because, I told you to change into your play shoes."

"But I want to wear sandals, Mommy!"

"Gillian, change your shoes, your feet always get cold in sandals. Your brother and grandmother are waiting for you."

"Daddy said that I could wear them." The little girl shot back while watching for her mother's reaction.

Grissom walked into the kitchen in time to catch the tail end of the exchange. Definitely in time to see Sara noticeably stiffen. He could not decipher her expression as their eyes briefly met.

"I figured it wouldn't hurt since she would be in a vehicle." He explained with a shrug.

Checking her temper, Sara slowly turned to her defiant daughter. "Gillian, go on ahead and wear the sandals, this time, but put your white tights on. When you get back home, we'll talk about what just happened. Now, have a nice time."

"Okay, Mommy." The little girl sighed heavily, understanding that her mother's words meant that she was probably in trouble. "Bye Daddy."

Grissom watched Sara reorganize the kitchen cupboard for several minutes before he spoke. "You're angry with me." He stated more than questioned.

She paused in her task at his words. He could tell she was trying to calm herself down.

"Grissom, it's been a long day. I'm going to take a hot shower. _You_, you should make yourself at home."

A half hour later, Sara emerged refreshed to find Grissom asleep, sitting on the couch. Whatever remnants of anger that hadn't been washed away during her shower, now completely faded. He looked adorable.

As if he felt her gaze upon him, Grissom's eyes slowly opened. "How was your shower?"

"It was just what I needed." She plopped down on the couch next to him.

There was a long silence before either spoke again.

"Sara. I want to apologize for earlier. I have a lot to learn."

"Don't worry about it." Sara threw over her shoulder as she got up and headed back to the kitchen."

"You're still angry."

"No. I don't know. It's just…I'm not used to having my decisions concerning my children undermined."

"I wasn't undermining your decision, Sara. I didn't know you had instructed her otherwise. It was a mistake."

"Well, then challenged." She snapped, knowing she was being unfair but she resented his interference.

Suddenly, he was angry. "Sara, she played both of us - it happens with kids all the time. But let's be clear on this…I've not expected to drop into the children's lives and start making colossal decisions in their lives. But I _am_ their father, Sara and I want to have an active role in their lives. My absence has gone on long enough. So, while you can trust that I will always consult you regarding issues on a larger scale, in the future, I fully expect to be able to decide what type of shoes they can wear when they are in my custody."

_Was that a threat? _Sara wondered as she tried to digest his words. His use of the word custody bothered her. The word was very - _legal_. It was also a reminder that Grissom has had every right to, but had not pursued shared legal custody of the twins. He was their father and he should be able to make decisions in their lives. She had already cut him out of enough of time.

But why hadn't he made any move, legally, to become a permanent part of their lives? Though she thought highly unlikely, it would always leave open the possibility that he would leave them.

She knew with absolute certainty that Grissom loved his children and wanted them in his life indefinitely. She just did not know where she fit in anymore. Sara still very much wanted the life he promised her when they laid in each other's arms years ago on the other side of the country. He told her that he loved her - not long ago. If his feelings hadn't changed after all these years, they certainly hadn't changed over the last few weeks. She needed to show Grissom that she trusted him, completely, with all of their lives. The sooner the better so that they could move forward.

They stared at one another for several minutes before Sara spoke. "It's my turn to apologize. You are right; children do this all the time. God knows how many times my mother and I have gone through the same thing. It's just felt different with you…I guess."

"I know I have a lot to learn, but I'm going to need your help and patience."

"And you'll have it."

It was in that moment that the air became charged with a different type of energy."

"Uh, are you hungry?" She turned nervously, making busy with the hands that were itching to touch him. "You go on ahead and shower while I scrounge something up."

After scouring the kitchen for supplies. Sara settled on pasta and even added shrimp for Grissom. They chatted over dinner about work, the state of education today as well as options on schools for the children in Las Vegas.

He wasn't sure that he would feel comfortable in Sara's home - but he did. Her home was warm and inviting. This was the Sara he knew so long ago. Hair down, jeans and bare feet. By desert, there was no mistaking the renewed chemistry.

"Mother emphasized that she would call before they returned. So, we have some time." Sara hinted after they cleared away the dishes.

"Really?" Grissom returned with a devilish smile that released a hundred butterflies into her stomach. He still made her weak in the knees.

"Yes. Have you…seen my room?"

A while later, Grissom tried to relax in Sara's arms but something she said earlier, during their lovemaking, was still bugging him. "Sara?"

"Hmmm?" She mumbled in response almost asleep.

"When you left…back then…you said…"

"What is it?" She came fully awake and tensed immediately.

"You remember the note you left me?"

"I thought you said that you didn't want the details?"

"I thought I didn't…"

"But now?"

"Now, I think I want to know." _I want to know why you keep lying to me. _He wanted to say. "You said that there was someone else. Yet, you've mentioned more than once that there has never been anyone else. How is that possible?"

"Shit!" Sara sat up abruptly.

"Excuse me?"

"The kids are home." She went from terror, to relief, to panic in less than sixty seconds.

Terror because she knew where the conversation was going. Realistically, she realized that it would come up sooner or later. She had only hoped it would be much later - like possibly after they were married. So, she was temporarily relieved by the outside intrusion. However, the last thing she wanted was to be caught in a compromising position.

"What?" He was having trouble redirecting his thoughts.

"Mom and the twins are home. I don't want them to find us this way." She explained as she hastily searched for her discarded clothing.

"Sara?"

"This isn't the time. We need to get dressed. I don't want the children finding us this way!" Sara was on the verge of panic. Everything was happening too quickly.

She wasn't ready to lose everything yet - and she knew that she would once he found out the truth. Was it selfish to want just a little more time together? Hadn't they all suffered enough? She argued angrily inside, unable to stop the tears from escaping.

"Calm down, Sara. I think you're over reacting. We'll explain it to them. They need to get used to having me around."

"I don't want to confuse them."

"What is there to be confused about?" He questioned as he threw on his own clothing. "I _am_ their father. You and I…_are_ together."

"I know that, damn it! I just want to talk to them about this first. I don't want them jumping to conclusions."

Grissom watched Sara frantically redress. Why was she so upset? If the ultimate goal was for them to reunite as a family, why was she practically hyperventilating? Unless, things had changed that quickly. Did she still want him in her life, permanently or was she planning to disappear again later down the road? What in the hell was going on? He was tired if this roller coaster ride. He needed answers.

The door swung open as he tucked his tee shirt into his jeans.

"Daddy!" Gillian greeted as she jumped into her father's arms. "We had so much fun!"

"You did? Why don't you give Mommy and me a few minutes and we'll be out to hear every thing?"

"Okay. Daddy?"

"Yes, Sweetheart?"

"Why is your shirt on backwards?"


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**A/N: Basically I'm rambling in this chapter because I'm not happy with the ending anymore. Open for suggestions. Don't own CSI and all that. All errors are mine!**

**Stay**

**Chapter Fourteen**

_**CSI Lab…**_

Sara returned to Las Vegas anxious, paranoid and a nervous wreck. It had been difficult to enjoy her time with the children when she spent the remainder of the weekend waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Like watching a train wreck. It was terrible and you wish you could stop it but there was nothing to do but watch in morbid fascination. That was her life.

Honestly, that had been her life close to nine years now and she was sick of it. The charade, which had taken its toll on her physical and emotional well being, had to end soon or there would be nothing left.

She knew where that conversation with Grissom the other night was going. In a moment of weakness she admitted to him, actually twice now, that there had never been another man in her life. It was the truth. Grissom was her first and only lover and she wanted so badly for him to know and understand that.

However, her finding another man had been the reason she gave for leaving him high and dry those years ago. As much as she wanted to clarify the situation, to tell the truth, his bond with the children, though strong, was still very new and fragile as were their own personal relationship. While Sara was certain that Grissom would never walk away from the twins, it was her own heart she was hesitant to risk.

Deprived of adult affection for so long, a sort of self inflected penance, Sara basked in every smile, every touch, every moment spent alone with Grissom. The reality was she needed him more than he needed her and that scared her immensely. There was no way she could live any semblance of a normal life, seeing the man she loved beyond reason, everyday and not have him a part of it intimately.

It was only a matter of time now. Grissom was very near discovery. When he approached her for answers this time, she would not lie - if Catherine did not tell him first. Apparently, her co-worker, Sara learned from a friend at her bank the moment she set foot back in town, was investigating her. She hadn't seen that one coming.

She needed to speak with Carvello and eventually needed to face the fact that the jig was up. Grissom had already forgiven her so much, she wasn't sure he could weather more lies. Sara's only hope was that when the dust settled, she would still be able to salvage some type of relationship with the father of her children.

_**Grissom's Office…**_

He was angry. Sara had lied to him _again. _It was the second time she told him that there had been no one else but had she forgotten that she ran off and left him for a younger man? _He_ sure as hell hadn't.

But, why lie? Why even bring it up at all? It didn't change anything. He still very much wanted Sara and the twins in his life. It made him wonder what else she was hiding. And there was definitely something else.

The woman completely panicked when he questioned her about the 'Dear John' letter. Grissom was certain the look of terror on her face had little to do with the children discovering them in their birthday suits. The investigator in him was desperate to find the answers but the weary part of him wanted to leave well enough alone and go on as if all was right in the world. _Sometimes, ignorance really is bliss_. He was willing to move past her betrayal; after all, she came back and gave him the two most beautiful children in the world. Not to mention that she claimed she still loved him. But how in the world could they build a relationship when she kept opening old wounds and continued to lie to him?

_**The Locker Room…**_

"Obviously, your plan worked out well." Catherine did not want to gloat but she couldn't help it. It didn't take a CSI to know that all had not gone well during Sara and Grissom's weekend getaway.

"Don't start, Catherine. You have no idea what's going on between them."

"I know that there have been less than ten words spoken between them since they got back from California."

"Maybe-."

Whatever Warrick was going to say was interrupted when Sara walked into the room, pissed.

"Catherine, may I have a word with you?"

Warrick knew what was up the minute Sara barged in with fire in her eyes. Catherine was busted and he didn't want any part of it. "You girls play nice."

Catherine turned to face the younger woman with a forceful smile. "What can I do for you, Sara?"

"Is there something _I_ can do for _you_, Catherine? After all, _you_ are the one illegally prying into my financial records because I seriously doubt any judge would sign that warrant. Don't bother denying it." Sara waved off any possible defense. "I conducted my own investigation. My personal business is private. It's none of your damned business."

"What did you expect, Sara? You are the biggest mystery in town and I am an investigator. I won't apologize for looking out for my best friend." She added with a shrug.

"Is that what we're calling it these days? Here I was thinking that you were just being a Class A territorial super bitch."

"Hey, at least I'm up front about who I am. You on the other hand, have got Grissom so snowed. He doesn't know if he's coming or going these days. And if you think I'm going to sit back and watch you railroad Grissom again you've got another thing coming, Sister!"

Sara sighed out loud, the new disappointment weighing her down. She didn't want to fight with Catherine. "Everyone's been so …supportive - even you. Are they all in on this? Where you all pretending to be my friend and going around behind my back?"

"No." Catherine studied her co -worker for several minutes. _She thinks I found something_. Now she regretted ending her investigation so soon at Warrick's urging. There really was something to find. "Look, I'll give you the opportunity to tell him everything."

"Why are you doing this?" She was tired and this conversation was going no where. "What's in it for you?"

"Oh please. That 'poor me' routine doesn't work on me. Come clean to him now and go quietly."

"You think that making me leave will be good for Gil? You want to separate him from his family?"

"I'm sure there can be a reasonable legal solution with the children."

"What?"

"I'll help him get through it. He won't be alone."

"What are you talking about? He won't be alone because I don't plan on going anywhere!" _Why would this woman think that she could push her out of Grissom's life? Why would Catherine think that she would allow it? _"You…make this seem like some type of competition. Like he has to choose…" A thought suddenly occurred to Sara. "Are…you in love with Gil?"

Catherine eyes grew wide in disbelief. "What? I - what are you talking about?" For the first time in many years, she was completely at a loss for words.

"Oh my God. You _are _in love with him." Sara concluded sadly.

"I didn't say that!"

"You didn't have to." Sara took a minute to sort her thoughts. "Catherine, you and I are not…this is _not _a competition. Grissom and I love each other- _we always have_. While it may not seem perfect in your eyes, it works for us." She watched the woman struggle for words.

"I'm just looking out for Gil. He deserves better-"

"Stop it." Waving away the blonde's words. "I won't say anything to him about this. There's even a way that we can co-exist, a way that you can remain a part Gil's life -as a friend. _Nothing more_."

She had enough to worry about. The last thing she wanted was to deal with Catherine's bullshit on top of everything else. Sara took several steps forward, invading Catherine's personal space. "I don't know what you think you know about me but I'm done playing games. From one mother to another, there is nothing on this entire earth that I believe in more than my family. I won't let anyone destroy it - _not even you_."

"Seems like you've done a good job all by yourself."

"I won't tell you again, Catherine. Stay out of my personal business. What goes on between me and Gil is none of your concern." She took a step back and headed for the door.

"Tell him Sara. Tell him now, or I will."

_**Brass Home…**_

"You'll have to excuse the mess..." The Captain made an insincere effort to straighten his living room. "It's not often that I have company - especially uninvited."

Grissom shrugged off his friend's rudeness. "I was in the area."

"Bullshit. I live twenty miles from that uppity neighborhood you call home. Have a seat."

Grissom moved the laundry basket full of clean clothes from, the recliner and took a seat."

"What's on your mind?"

"Sara."

Brass snorted. "In that case, I better crack open a fresh bottle of Scotch."

"So let me get this straight." Brass leaned forward almost an hour later. "The only woman you have ever loved tracked you down and moved here to Vegas along with your twin genius spawns. You forgive her for stepping out on you _and_ failing to mention that she had your babies. You two pick up where you left off. Please -" He raised a hand to stop Grissom's protest. "I've known you too long to not know when you're getting some action. How am I doing?"

"Well, I didn't appreciate the 'spawn' part but you're pretty much on target."

"So, what's the problem again?"

"She lied to me." He stated simply.

"I'm not psychic. You wanna to elaborate?"

"She's said on more than one occasion that she hasn't…_been_ with another man."

"You may have to take her word on that." Brass shifted in his seat. Scotch couldn't even smooth the way to make the conversation any more comfortable.

"Jim, she left me for a younger guy. She _was _seeing someone else."

"Doesn't mean that she slept with him."

"Then why leave?"

"Maybe, she thought he was something special but it didn't work out? Maybe she found out she had a few buns in the oven and gave him the boot."

Both men pondered the last words spoken.

"Or," Grissom sat up suddenly. "Or, maybe there was never another man."

"Then why leave?" Brass parroted his friend's earlier question.

"Interesting question."


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**A/N: Two more chapters, then the epilogue. So ready to be done with this already. I've been working on new story with Nick as the main character. Don't worry, it's still GSR and some CWR for good measure, but the focus will be on Nick. Haven't forgotten about MBE. **

**I do not own CSI and all that.**

**Stay **

**Chapter Fifteen**

Grissom arrived at work feeling slightly hung over. Common sense should have told him to leave Brass' home after the second drink. Instead, he vaguely remembered, while tossing back a few, that the bottle was last seen half empty - or half full. _Whatever. _

It didn't matter anyway. It's not like he had to be anywhere. For the last several weeks he began his evenings with a visit with the children and Sara. Now, he had no obligations…God he missed the twins already.

"You look like shit."

He glanced up slowly from the pile of phone messages he was mindlessly sorting.

"Thanks, Catherine. I knew I could always count on you for a kind word."

"Right. So," She began after closing the office door and taking the chair opposite of him. "Rough morning?"

Grissom only shrugged in response, but Catherine was not deterred. "How was your weekend?"

"Fine." He grumbled, then looked up and caught her expectant face. "_And…_thanks again for covering for us."

"You are welcome. So, everything okay with you and Sara? You two seemed…_tense_ last night."

"The children are fine, by the way. Thanks for asking."

"Glad to hear it. What's up with you?"

"Catherine, let's end the fishing expedition, shall we? What exactly do you want to know?"

"I want to know if you are okay. You spent the weekend with your children and the love of your life - I thought you'd be…I don't know - _happy_?"

Grissom groaned out loud. As much as he opposed discussing personal issues at work, he really wanted Catherine's opinion.

Catherine could see him caving. "You had a nice time with the children?"

"Yes, I did."

"The roaches were well behaved?" She continued as if reintroducing him to the art of basic conversation.

"Yes. Gillian did a wonderful job."

"And Gil? When is it his turn for Show and Tell?"

"Two weeks, I think."

"Should be interesting. Things were not so good with Sara?" She prompted.

He sat silent for several minutes, searching for adequate words to describe his current predicament. "I don't know what happened. I mean, we have these periods were things are going well, then suddenly the rug is ripped from beneath me and we are right back at square one. I feel like we will never be able move on to something more."

Catherine frowned; his use of metaphors did not offer any clarity. "What happened?"

Grissom pursed his lips as he considered his answer. "Sara and I have grown closer - _physically_."

Catherine smiled, knowing that this was costing him big time. He was damn near the only, almost fifty year man, who could not admit that he had sex. Always the gentleman, Gil Grissom was indeed a dying breed.

"It's in those moments," He continued on "…when we are together that way...that I allow myself to indulge in the possibilities."

"Nothing wrong with that. We all do it."

He only grunted in response.

She sat uncharacteristically patient while he collected his thoughts.

"What happened?" Catherine asked again, finally breaking the silence.

"She lied to me."

"About what?"

"I'm not sure, but I _do _know that she is keeping something from me."

"All truths are not meant to be revealed." She quoted cryptically.

"Who said that?"

"Catherine Willows."

He smiled appreciatively in response. "I can't explain it Catherine. It's like she cast some sort of spell on me."

"Yeah, it's called sex."

Grissom raised his eyebrow disapprovingly. "This is more than about the physical aspect of our relationship, Catherine." He chided. "Sara has some kind of hold on me. She makes me believe in fairytales. She makes me believe that love will conquer all. It's been there since the day we met and I imagine it will be there until the day I draw my last breath."

"Pretty melodramatic for a guy that thinks the woman he's sleeping with is a liar."

"Catherine?" He cocked his head to one side, seeing his best friend for the first time in a different light. "What are you doing?"

"What I always do - look out for you."

She wasn't sure why her claws came out, especially after her round with Sara. She came to him with the intentions of helping her best friend. To prove to Sara, Warrick and maybe even herself that she was not the villain in this story. She was not jealous. She just wasn't sure what it was that sparked her anger but it was not jealousy.

Maybe it was the way Grissom spoke about Sara - it was wistful and sweet and…pretty damned irritating. In all her years of knowing the man, he only held that tone when he spoke of his precious Sara. The same Sara that broke his heart shattered his faith in _all_ women and was still deceiving him to this day. She did not deserve his kind words!

Grissom ran an impatient hand through his salt and pepper curls. "What is this really about, Catherine? I don't understand why you dislike her so strongly-"

"Because I'm being objective. She doesn't hold the power of persuasion over me." She threw out pointedly. "Are you willing to just forget the hell she put you through?"

"I'm trying to forget, but you won't let me."

"Oh, she must be really good."

"Stop it, Catherine."

He stood and began pacing the small enclosed space. Halting abruptly, he swung around to face his friend. "Does it even matter to you that I am happy? That after all these years - _years _Catherine, that I am _finally_ happy? I have two beautiful children and a woman that I - that I have Sara?"

"Do you Gil? Do you _have_ Sara? And if so, for how long?"

"You speak as if you know something." Cocking his head to one side. "Do you, Catherine?"

"I'm going to take your advice and mind my own damned business." She retorted and began to brush imaginary lint from her slacks.

"As one who goes to such great lengths to look out for me, if you know something about Sara that I should know, you should be more than willing to tell me."

"And the woman that has made you blind and irrational should be obligated to come clean to you! She has done nothing but cause you pain and misery, while I have always been there for you to help pick up the pieces. _Yet, _here you are getting all morally righteous with me while she is the director in this comedic tragedy!"

Grissom stared several long seconds at the woman he barely recognized as his friend.

"Look, this is getting us nowhere. Let's agree to disagree about Sara." He conceded, dropping into his chair.

"I agree that this is going no where fast because Sara's not being honest with you." Catherine knew that this was Grissom's way of ending their quarrel before it got any more out of control. She also knew that her comment was completely unnecessary and would fuel the fire, but the Alpha female in her would not allow her to keep her mouth shut when it looked like Sara had won.

"Damn it, Catherine! She's done nothing to you! Sara's doing the best that she can-"

"Stop making excuses for her!"

"I'm not, though you are constantly putting me in a position to defend Sara."

"She's always in a position that needs defending."

"Catherine, stop!"

He glanced up to realize that their steadily increasing voices were beginning to draw curious glances. "In an attempt to salvage what is left of our friendship, I am ending this conversation. But never again will I stand for this type of interference into my personal life or with my relationship with the children. Gil and Gillian come first - _always_. Never again Catherine. Friendship or no."

"You're willing to ditch our friendship over a woman?"

"Not just any woman, Catherine. The mother of my children."

"The twins can be a part of your life with or without their mother. Any good attorney can see to it."

"Enough. Enough of this." Grissom stood once again and snatched his jacket from the arm of the desk chair. "This will be the last time we speak of this."

"Damn!" Catherine muttered as she ran a shaky hand through her hair as Grissom slammed closed behind him. "I really fucked that up."


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**A/N: Just a short chapter to round up Grissom and Catherine's POW WOW. Next chapter - Grissom and Sara.**

**Stay**

**Chapter Sixteen**

_**Later at Catherine's home…**_

She had to hand it to Sara. The woman had guts getting in her face that way. But about her being in love Grissom _- that was just crazy._

Of course Catherine loved Gil. He was her best friend for goodness sakes! At least she still hoped so after today. Grissom had been there for her when there was no one else in the world she could trust - _especially_ a man. He made her not give up completely on the male species. But in love with him? He wasn't even her type!

Grissom was older than she preferred - _though_ he was good looking with his unruly graying hair, impossibly blue eyes, baby face and legs that couldn't be any more bowed. So, she may have had more than one fantasy about her best friend - but who didn't wonder from time to time what it would be like if?

He was old fashioned. In a chivalrous type of way. Impeccable manners (except when he ignores her - even post ear surgery) Grissom always managed to make her feel like a sophisticated woman - not the girl that jumped off of a pole a decade and a half ago.

Unfortunately, he had no clue that these qualities he possessed made him a hot commodity. And if he ever looked up from the larvae for more than two minutes, he would have noticed that there was a line of woman waiting to catch his eye; including her at one time.

Not recently, however.

She thought maybe their friendship was heading in that direction a few years back after the Harvard mess. It hadn't. And deep down, she'll admit to being disappointed but who could compete with bugs and the ghost of Sara Sidle?

So, she became the next best thing - his best friend. A friend that he could talk to about any and everything. They went out occasionally or ate in. They were also each other's official date person. When an event they were forced to attend required a date, she and Grissom would automatically fill in as one another's temporary significant other.

It was only natural that she would become territorial with the man - _how could she not? _She was protecting him from woman that only wanted him for status and monetary reasons.

_Okay_, so maybe she was still hoping somewhere in the far recess of her mind that one say he would see her differently but that hope faded a while ago and continued to go at warp speed once Sara moved to Vegas. The depths of Grissom's remaining feelings for Sara were immediately obvious. Sara's appearance and later the twins added to the mix, Catherine finally accepted the hard truth. Only she hadn't realized any of this until Sara's accusation. She had her place with Grissom and it was as his best friend - his heart still and had always belonged to Sara.

Catherine sat down hard on the dining room chair, sloshing her drink in the process.

Sara was right at least partially. She needed to let go of her unrealistic fantasies go before they cost her, her friendship. Shit - Warrick was right too! Now, she had to figure out how to fix the problem and salvage her own relationships.

She still believed that Sara was indeed hiding something from Grissom. Maybe, it wasn't anything they couldn't work through? The woman _did_ move to Vegas and brought their children. Catherine did not believe that Sara was using the children as pawns; she seemed genuinely interested in establishing Grissom in their lives - _all _of their lives.

Catherine smiled again at Sara's threat, a mild one but a threat no less. Actually, it was nice to see her get fired up - claiming Grissom for herself and family. He could do worse.

It helped that the two were totally compatible - who else could put up with the other's weirdness?

Catherine stood, moved to the kitchen and dumped her drink. She had a lot of crow to eat, so she mind as well get some extra sleep. Moving on to her bedroom, she undressed feeling surprisingly better than she had in years.

"Guess there's something to be said for soul searching." She mumbled out loud. "Who am I talking to?"

She definitely needed to get some rest; there was much to be done. Including, talking to Sara, apologizing to Grissom and Warrick.

Warrick had been patient all these years. Waiting for her while she obsessed over Grissom's life or lack of one. She wondered if he knew or suspected that her feelings for Grissom were stronger than she let on. _Probably_. But that was over now - her priorities were straight. When this was over, she would focus on her own life. A life with her daughter and a real possibility - _Warrick._

Catherine fell asleep with a smile on her face.

_**Sara's Apartment…**_

Sara wasn't surprised to find Grissom perched on her doorstep not long after shift ended. Word around the lab was that he and Catherine had gotten into a huge shouting match in his office and that he fired her. However, Sara knew better. She knew that what happened in that office had nothing to do with CSI, it had everything to do with the rest of her life.

"Come in." Stepping to one side to allow him passage. "Can I offer you anything?"

"Yes. The truth would be nice."

Sara nodded her head, in silent acceptance. "Then you'd better have a seat."


End file.
